Ah, the thrill of dancing! I haven't felt that thrill in years! I remember once feeling that thrill as I performed in a recital, and I've been chasing that feeling ever since, but I've not found it again. The reason being, I see now, that I haven't been serious enough in my dancing to feel that thrill. The fact that I ever felt it is incredible - but that may have been, quite possibly, the last year we had a fair class size, and it was a tap piece, and it was well choreographed. I've been chasing that feeling ever since.
Then today I found it again.
We can't afford to add tap lessons to our budget - financially or time wise. I took at least three years of it, probably more - don't remember exactly. Although everyone else in my first class had taken tap the year before, I quickly caught up. One year, I was the first to grasp every concept.
I love tap dancing. It's strenuous, but it comes so easily to me. Although my ballet teacher looks at my petite allegro and wouldn't believe it, I don't have trouble with quick movements. I'm inflexible and my left calf refuses to propel me off the floor. But the skills I need to tap have come fairly naturally to me.
Today, inspired by Donald O'Connor, I dug out my tap shoes - which still fit me - and I went into the mudroom and warmed up. I still remember most of the steps - shuffle, the Irish, the buffalo.... There only a few I can't remember.
I looked up tap dancing on YouTube, and found a couple combinations, which I worked on for about an hour. It was so much fun! Between the bench and the coats, there's not a lot of room, but I situated myself in the widest area and tapped away!
I begin to appreciate, once again, how hard dance really is, and how absolutely talented dancers are. You have no idea, especially if you have not danced much, how hard the ballerinas in The Nutcracker are working. Not only to they have to perform and execute the steps with exact accuracy, they also have to lift themselves, so much so that they almost fly up off the floor, in order to execute them correctly, and furthermore, they have to make it look so flawless and perfect, while effortless. This last thing is the hardest of all.
Of course, I looked up some ballet videos, and I finally saw what my teacher wanted of me. I'm so jealous! I will not be beaten by those rich people who train every day. I'll go twice a week and look just as nice as they do by recital time.
Oh, I know now I could never give this up just because I'm going off to college! I found a place ten minutes from FUS which costs less than I'm paying my teacher now. They have certain discounts in certain classes if you're taking more than one class, and they also have tumbling - something I've always wanted to do!
Unfortunately, I'll have to find a way to get from campus to class, and worst of all, the dreams that always start out like this, rarely last long enough to get me to the end. I pray this enthusiasm for dance doesn't melt away.
I'm sure you've had those sudden passions - it's always hard when you realize your life has to continue beyond the limits of your new obsession, isn't it?
When I was really little, I wanted to be like the women I knew and liked. I wanted to be my teachers, or my mom. For a very long time, if anyone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I'd have said a teacher or a mom. It never occurred to me that I could be a singer or an actress. Those kinds of things weren't part of my existence.
But I always liked singing. It's surprising that it's taken this long for me to get lessons, but I've always been shy, and I was afraid to sing for someone. Now I'm putting incredible effort into my dancing, I'm taking singing lessons, and I'm even practicing my diction, thinking of getting into acting in college. This is crazy! This is not the girl I used to know!
I know this is partially all because of my admiration for Donald O'Connor and my revisited craze for old, musical movies, starring incredibly talented people. But this has always been a fascination for me, just not always realized. Is it possible that I could get into show business? I wouldn't want to do the cheep stuff that's so common today. I'd want to make something as beautiful as they used to be - whether on stage or on screen. Even if that meant joining a local talent troupe, wouldn't that be lovely?