Eeyore

I… was going to write about something… but now I don't remember what.  Hmm.  Huh.  Befuddled.

Well!  Anyway, have you checked out my new blog yet?  I'd really appreciate it if you would!  And also, if you're on Facebook, follow the blog on Facebook!  I'm not exactly sure why… but I want to promote my new blog and make it something real.  I want to take my blogging to the next level.

I guess we'll see!

I suppose next time I'll talk about Franciscan households, intenting, and maybe post a vague reflection on a relationship that's finally crumbling around me.  Fun stuff.  Nothing you haven't already heard from me before.  But you'll want to read it anyway.  Because I'm just that awesome.  Yup.

Someone recently compared me to Eeyore.  I love it!  I'm totally like Eeyore!

http://www.winnie-pooh.org/eeyore-quotes.htm

"Eeyore, what are you doing there?" said Rabbit.
"I'll give you three guesses, Rabbit. Digging holes in the ground? Wrong. Leaping from branch to branch of a young oak tree? Wrong. Waiting for somebody to help me out of the river? Right. Give Rabbit time, and he'll always get the answer."
"But, Eeyore," said Pooh in distress, "what can we - I mean, how shall we - do you think if we -"
"Yes," said Eeyore. "One of those would be just the thing. Thank you, Pooh."

"I might have known," said Eeyore. "After all, one can't complain. I have my friends. Somebody spoke to me only yesterday. And was it last week or the week before that Rabbit bumped into me and said 'Bother!'. The Social Round. Always something going on."

Well.  Anyway.  I should be getting to bed about now….

Night all

~Meggy

The Child in the Dark

[Intense content]

There is a child.  He – or she – lives in a basement, a cellar.  It is dark; there, light nor comfort ever enter.  Food is sometimes dropped in through the cellar door, scattering and crumbling, tumbling across the floor in all directions.  It is covered in mold and dust, now, and the messes the child has made.  The floor is an atrocity.  It is covered in rat carcasses, which the child has nibbled on in the long darkness between feedings.  The child is thin and dirty; his skin is red and bloated from abuse and a lack of care. Unbeknownst to all, someone comes down into the dark.  A great man in silence comes down into the cellar and beats the child.  The child feels the man's blows until his face is swollen and bloodied.  He is left alone down there, to bleed and whimper.  The child speaks no words; he cannot speak any words.  The only sounds he makes are the gasps and moans involuntary but necessary to the abuse he suffers.

Festering in the dark, he knows nothing else.  Dying, gasping, breathing, he knows not where he is or what he is or why.  He cannot even ask himself these questions.

The child is no longer a child.  But he still lives in the darkness.  He is not a person; his head and heart are empty.  He has never been anything, and he will never be anything.  No one has compassion on him; no one acknowledges his existence.  The great man doesn't come anymore; there is nothing in the child's darkness but squeaking and scuffling.  And one day, the squeaking and scuffling do not find resistance.  And the darkness never ends.

......

This is the kind of movie that I have had more than enough of.  This is entertainment?

~Meggy

Baby Girl

Life has been busy.  Between crazy classes and crazy drama, I've been having a hard time figuring out whether to laugh or cry.

You may remember "boy-who-messed-up-my-last-semester."  Our contact this semester has been awkward and the terms of our friendship are largely undefined.  Sometimes it hurts to see him – even more likely when he's with his girlfriend – and sometimes it doesn't bother me.  In theory, I smile to think he's happy; I'm happy, too.  But the reality is I'm sad things ended so badly, and I begrudge the fact that he felt it necessary to pull so far out of my life.  Maybe he's the wise one….  I couldn't say.

Another guy friend of mine has indirectly ended our friendship by deciding to completely remove the girl, who is my best friend, from his life.  He has a determined, leaning on the prideful side, headstrong personality, and this semester those irritating character traits of his seem to be worse.  I couldn't say for certain what and why… but I'm not the only one who thinks so.  Friends of mine have come to me and basically said, "What is going on with that guy?"  And he seems to have pushed away at least a few people.  The number one concern on the back of my mind is that he's almost secluded himself in a small, narrow community – harder for me or anyone else to reach out to him and see if there's a healthier balance.  But also, he was always there for me; and yet those moments of support always had a certain amount of "let me do my duty and check in on you but not really go out of my way otherwise" feeling to it.  I feel that way all the more now that he literally abandoned me when I wanted to hang out with him, simply because he didn't want to get involved in the drama my best friend was going through at the time.

There's also a guy who's into me, which he had decided after only knowing me for two days.  He's been behaving himself very well for the most part, but I had rather hoped that the initial infatuation had worn off – such is very much not the case.  The other night, we somehow ended up in a common room alone for a long time.  Instead of continuing to watch Doctor Who, we started talking – which is nice, right?  But you've got to be careful when you're with a guy who is way more into you than you are into him.  My best guy friend calls him my "stalker."  …Not seriously, of course.  This guy and I are good friends now and he's friends with my friends…and so on….

But so far, it's all been bad news, hasn't it?

I had a really nice conversation with my baby sister tonight.  I kept her up until 11; but she's thirteen now, and it's amazing to tell to her about things and listen to her responses.  It's not that she has experienced these things or understands what I'm experiencing, but she's older now, less of a child and more of a woman.  I love that little girl so much and I miss her.

In other news, I intented to Daughters of Jerusalem household; and I'm spending all day tomorrow in Pittsburgh.  More on that soon!

~Meggy