I recently wrote a new post for my "professional" blog, if you will, that was passionate and heartfelt. I titled it "America Needs a Mending." It's kind of a play on words - maybe you can figure out why.
Lately, I've been getting it into my head to become a professional blogger. What does that mean? Good question. I don't know. I was looking at Iris Hanlin's blog and I was so darn impressed. I don't think she's earning any money doing what she does but she's good at what she does. I suppose to get started on my goal, I'd start off following her example. Maybe I'll try some kind of vlog. Maybe I'll have themes. Et cetera. Et cetera. . . .
But there's so much I still don't know. What to do. . . what to do. . . what to do with myself. When I started Our Hearts Unhindered, I had in mind something like Matt Walsh's blog. I'd like to just say that shortly after discovering Matt Walsh, I decided I greatly dislike him. But now's not really the time to get into why. Anyway, you may be able to tell that my Our Hearts Unhindered blog is modeled after his "blogging template," so to speak. But 'tis boring. 'Tis not fun. Any suggestions?
I broached this subject with my boyfriend recently, but the conversation was short-lived. I had no idea what I had in mind and he doesn't discuss well if I can't define my terms. He has a stricter scientific mind - which is good because that's ultimately what I need from him on this. I need him to help me figure out what I want and how to get it. But sometimes I don't realize that that's what I'm looking for and I don't go into the conversation with that in mind. So I quickly dropped it, made a mental note to think more on it later, and we went on doing something else.
I'll probably bring it up with him again. But do you have any suggestions? I want to go on blogging like I do here, but better. And I want to go on blogging like I do at Our Hearts Unhindered, but more better (and more attractive). Is there a way I can combine them?
Gosh I'm hungry. Good thing lunch is soon.
One thing I'm worried about is transparency. In my blogs, I'm not transparent. I've made an effort over the years to keep my blog secret from family and friends so that I could explore myself without shame, in a sense. I've gone back and forth about even putting my picture in my profile. And I've kept personal details strict on Our Hearts Unhindered. It's succeeded, but it may be holding me back.
Do I need to start over? Do I need to make a new blog that is a combination of all? Do I revamp this one and just keep going? I like that idea better, frankly: stop trying to be one thing and be all at once. Don't hide the fun, don't segregate the serious.
Alright, that's all the time I have to write at the moment, unfortunately, but I'll keep thinking. . . and I hope to hear from you! Clearly I need to sit down and really hash this out for myself. . . .
Thanks so much, guys
~Meggy
Showing posts with label advice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label advice. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 23, 2015
Saturday, December 28, 2013
Bringing Jared In On It
Here's another snippet of the book I'm working on:
Any thoughts?
~Meggy
But Mrs. Coleman was inexplicably at the desk again. “Hi, Ana! Are you going out?”
“Yes, ma’am, I’m going down to the grocery to get a few things for myself.” Ana bit back an offer to run any errand Mrs. Coleman might have.
“Alright. Oh! Did you turn in this sock and book?”
“Yeah, I did, they were in the blue room,” said Ana. “I put it down there in the ledger.”
“Yes! I saw that, I just wanted to be sure.”
A pause and Ana smiled. “Sure. Okay, well, I’ll be back a little later I guess.”
Mrs. Coleman smiled. “Alright, Ana. I’ll keep supper for you.”
“Oh, don’t bother,” said Ana. “If I’m out past time, I’ll buy something at the grocery.”
“Jared will probably be happy to share with you whatever he’s made for himself,” said Mrs. Coleman. “He usually offers, he’s a good boy.
Ana’s cheeks flushed. “I might do that,” she answered, “if he offers. Well, I’ll be back later.”
“Alright, stay warm!”
“I will!” Ana called over her shoulder, shutting the door. The odious air hit her like skunk’s spray.
But what luck, the governor was heading for the inn.
“Mr. Feldman! Um…. How are you?”
“Ana! Well, I can’t complain. How are you?” He pushed his top hat back off his forehead.
Ana smiled. “I’m doing well. Sir, I was actually wondering something…. I’m glad I bumped into you. I was wondering if I could get into the castle library.”
“Oh. Oh!” Mr. Feldman looked up at the dark sky, adjusting his glasses. “Um well, you see…. No, I’m afraid not. I just don’t have the time to take you.”
“Well, see, I was fascinated by some of those books,” said Ana, “and so I was hoping if you could just let me in for a few hours…. I just want to leaf through some of those tomes if I may.”
He used his hands to punctuate his answer. “Hmm, well, see…. I don’t know that I can really let you do that. Anyway, I certainly can’t let you… browse around in there by yourself. I’d have to be with you and I just don’t have the time right now. Maybe next week, or next month! I just haven’t time.”
“Okay. Okay, well, thanks anyway,” said Ana. “Um…. Well, good evening, sir.”
“Good evening, Ana. I’m sorry about that.”
“Oh! It’s okay. Thanks anyway.”
Mr. Feldman went into the warm inn and disappeared behind the door.
No one else was out just now. The chill biting at her face, Anna ran across the street to the grocery. The doorbell rang over her head as she went in, and the warmth from the stove was pleasing and welcoming. Jared stood by it, stirring stew in his cast iron pot. The carrots and the sausage simmered together with the green tomato relish in such a pungent way.
“Hello, Ana,” said Jared, his face a blank. “I saw you coming, what can I get you?”
Ana glanced around the store. “Well, nothing for now,” she said, “I just want to look around.” She picked up a large skillet and weighed it in her hand. Then she put it down. Then she picked up a wooden spoon. “How are you?”
“Oh, I’m doing well,” said Jared. “Business has been slower lately, because of the cold, of course, but people still stop by to get warm and chat, so life’s not too dull so far this winter.”
Ana put down the wooden spoon. “That’s good. How is your family?” The stove was alluring warm so she crept up close to it.
“They’re doing alright.” Jared poked around in his pot with his spoon. “I bet you could smell this across the street, couldn’t you?”
“Yeah, in my bedroom, actually,” said Ana. “But that was about half an hour ago, isn’t it done?”
“Well, I think it is, just about,” said Jared. “Would you like some?”
“Oh, I would love some, if you don’t mind,” said Ana.
He reached over and took up the first of two bowls. “Here you are – my pleasure.” He filled his own bowl.
“It’s very good,” said Ana. “Thank you.”
“You think so?” he said. He tasted it for himself. “Yeah, it’s not bad. Um, so I saw you talking to the judge. May I ask what about?”
“Umm….” Ana took another mouthful of soup.
“If you don’t want to tell me, you don’t have to,” said Jared.
“Oh no, I was just asking if I could get back into the castle library because… well….”
Ana pursed her lips. “Do you know why it smells so bad some of the time?”
“No one does, I don’t think,” said Jared.
“Well…. I want to get into the castle library and see if I can’t find some of those chronicles again. There’s something just not quite… right about this town.”
“What do you mean?” Jared asked.
She looked up at him. “Well…. I don’t know, exactly, but there are some things that just don’t seem right. I mean, no one can explain the smell to me. The whole castle thing is shrouded in hazy mystery…. And the animals…. Well. There aren’t enough of them, or there’s too many of them…. But I’ve encountered several fantastic beings in the woods.”
Jared perked up. “You mean the elves?”
“You’ve seen them too?”
“Sometimes, when I’m out hunting, I see them hunting or just sitting in a tree. I don’t know if they see me. If they do, they don’t acknowledge me.”
“Have other people here seen them?”
“Not that I’ve heard,” said Jared, “and I’ve kept an ear open.”
“Well, it’s not just elves, either,” said Ana. “I’ve seen… other things. Things I’ve never seen before so I’m not sure what they are. And I’ve seen fairies, and I’ve certainly encountered pixies. Anyway, it seems strange.”
“I agree.”
“Okay, well, I was thinking that some of the books in the library might have some clues. But Mr. Feldman won’t let me in.”
Jared took on the look of an imp. “You could go in anyway,” he suggested.
Ana smiled. “Well, I was planning to,” she admitted. “But I don’t know how, so I’ll have to figure that out.”
Jared smiled. “Well… I–I think I can help you with that.”
Ana looked up at him, a grin spreading over her face. “Yeah?”
Assuredly, he said, “I think so."
Any thoughts?
~Meggy
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
A Request to Writers
Please don't treat readers like they can't figure it out.
I love Diana Wynne Jones' books, but there are definitely lines and passages where I cringe and wonder, "Were you even trying?" Her stories are wonderfully imaginative and they inspire me to write, inspiration which is very needed lately – but sometimes the way she phrases what she wants to say is just so… lame. It was especially noticeable after I began reading her books aloud to my sister, and there were just some areas that I felt stupid saying aloud. Granted, I think she's catering to a younger audience than me – certainly, my young sister found no fault with Jones – but even so, I have to wonder sometimes.
And I was thinking about it when I was writing this morning.
Well, that's all I have to say on that.
Next time, I think I'll talk about narrative voice. Cuz it's awesome.
~Meggy
Monday, December 2, 2013
Practical Writing Advice
Practical Writing Advice from Chuck Palahniuk
“In six seconds, you’ll hate me. But in six months, you’ll be a better writer.
From this point forward—at least for the next half year—you may not use “thought” verbs. These include: Thinks, Knows, Understands, Realizes, Believes, Wants, Remembers, Imagines, Desires, and a hundred others you love to use.
The list should also include: Loves and Hates. And it should include: Is and Has, but we’ll get to those later.Until some time around Christmas, you can’t write: Kenny wondered if Monica didn’t like him going out at night…”
Instead, you’ll have to Un-pack that to something like: “The mornings after Kenny had stayed out, beyond the last bus, until he’d had to bum a ride or pay for a cab and got home to find Monica faking sleep, faking because she never slept that quiet, those mornings, she’d only put her own cup of coffee in the microwave. Never his.”
Instead of characters knowing anything, you must now present the details that allow the reader to know them. Instead of a character wanting something, you must now describe the thing so that the reader wants it.
Instead of saying: “Adam knew Gwen liked him.” You’ll have to say: “Between classes, Gwen had always leaned on his locker when he’d go to open it. She’s roll her eyes and shove off with one foot, leaving a black-heel mark on the painted metal, but she also left the smell of her perfume. The combination lock would still be warm from her butt. And the next break, Gwen would be leaned there, again.”
In short, no more short-cuts. Only specific sensory detail: action, smell, taste, sound, and feeling.
Typically, writers use these “thought” verbs at the beginning of a paragraph (In this form, you can call them “Thesis Statements” and I’ll rail against those, later). In a way, they state the intention of the paragraph. And what follows, illustrates them.
For example: “Brenda knew she’d never make the deadline. Traffic was backed up from the bridge, past the first eight or nine exits. Her cell phone battery was dead. At home, the dogs would need to go out, or there would be a mess to clean up. Plus, she’d promised to water the plants for her neighbor…”
Do you see how the opening “thesis statement” steals the thunder of what follows? Don’t do it.
If nothing else, cut the opening sentence and place it after all the others. Better yet, transplant it and change it to: Brenda would never make the deadline.
Thinking is abstract. Knowing and believing are intangible. Your story will always be stronger if you just show the physical actions and details of your characters and allow your reader to do the thinking and knowing. And loving and hating.
Don’t tell your reader: “Lisa hated Tom.”
Instead, make your case like a lawyer in court, detail by detail.
Present each piece of evidence. For example: “During roll call, in the breath after the teacher said Tom’s name, in that moment before he could answer, right then, Lisa would whisper-shout ‘Butt Wipe,’ just as
Tom was saying, ‘Here’.”
One of the most-common mistakes that beginning writers make is leaving their characters alone. Writing, you may be alone. Reading, your audience may be alone. But your character should spend very, very little time alone. Because a solitary character starts thinking or worrying or wondering.
For example: Waiting for the bus, Mark started to worry about how long the trip would take…”
A better break-down might be: “The schedule said the bus would come by at noon, but Mark’s watch said it was already 11:57. You could see all the way down the road, as far as the Mall, and not see a bus. No doubt, the driver was parked at the turn-around, the far end of the line, taking a nap. The driver was kicked back, asleep, and Mark was going to be late. Or worse, the driver was drinking, and he’d pull up drunk and charge Mark seventy-five cents for death in a fiery traffic accident…”
A character alone must lapse into fantasy or memory, but even then you can’t use “thought” verbs or any of their abstract relatives.
Oh, and you can just forget about using the verbs forget and remember.
No more transitions such as: “Wanda remembered how Nelson used to brush her hair.”
Instead: “Back in their sophomore year, Nelson used to brush her hair with smooth, long strokes of his hand.”
Again, Un-pack. Don’t take short-cuts.
Better yet, get your character with another character, fast. Get them together and get the action started. Let their actions and words show their thoughts. You—stay out of their heads.
And while you’re avoiding “thought” verbs, be very wary about using the bland verbs “is” and “have.”
For example: “Ann’s eyes are blue.”
“Ann has blue eyes.”
Versus:
“Ann coughed and waved one hand past her face, clearing the cigarette smoke from her eyes, blue eyes, before she smiled…”
Instead of bland “is” and “has” statements, try burying your details of what a character has or is, in actions or gestures. At its most basic, this is showing your story instead of telling it.
And forever after, once you’ve learned to Un-pack your characters, you’ll hate the lazy writer who settles for: “Jim sat beside the telephone, wondering why Amanda didn’t call.”
Please. For now, hate me all you want, but don’t use thought verbs. After Christmas, go crazy, but I’d bet money you won’t.
(…)
For this month’s homework, pick through your writing and circle every “thought” verb. Then, find some way to eliminate it. Kill it by un-packing it.
Then, pick through some published fiction and do the same thing. Be ruthless.
“Marty imagined fish, jumping in the moonlight…”
“Nancy recalled the way the wine tasted…”
“Larry knew he was a dead man…”
Find them. After that, find a way to re-write them. Make them stronger.”
Chuck Palahniuk
Do you agree? Do you disagree?
~Meggy
Saturday, September 28, 2013
Busting Franciscan Myths
"I mean, I'm mostly going to college to find a husband."
Don't come to Franciscan. According to THIS SITE and one other, the boy/girl ratio is between 40/60 and 30/70. There are a lot of girls. A lot of girls, especially compared to so few guys!
I know: "I'm hoping to find a good Catholic husband, so where better than at a great Catholic college?" Yeah, well, good theory, but Catholicism doesn't come with automatic awesomeness. It'd be nice if it did, wouldn't it? You may know a person who is Catholic and seemingly devout but has so many character flaws you wish they were atheist so you could "convert" them. From my view on this campus, Franciscan seems to be the preferred and chosen college for this type of person.
Smoking and drinking are not foreign to this campus. You have to know the right people in order to get really stoned, but it's not hard to find them – just listen to the right people talking about, well, the wrong people. Smokers stand outside every building. …Not constantly, but you'll see a few on a daily basis if you're paying attention.
Smoking is not inherently evil, so far as I can figure (although I hear tell that cigarettes are really, really bad for you). But it has been my limited experience that most of the guys standing outside in "smoking rings" on a regular basis – cigarettes, cigars, or pipes – are charter members of the group of guys that smart girls are learning not to dream about.
So smoking is directly related to weak character? Well, no, I can't prove that. It could be that the majority of the campus male population is of weak character; in which case, it would naturally follow that the campus male smoker population would be largely dominated by this type…. After all, there are plenty of stay-away-from-hims that don't smoke or drink every Friday night.
But that's just a taste of what you'll find on the Franciscan campus.
City on a hill? Salt of the earth? Light of the world? Certainly, all those things. The Franciscan Friars are so adorable and so powerful and so life changing/challenging. The witness of a chapel full of young adults singing to God four Masses a Sunday, three a weekday is breathtaking. Perpetual Adoration, Students for Life, The Harmonium Project, Red Light Ministry… and whatever else we have going on 'round here – sometimes it's hard to keep track of it all.
At the same time, we've got Households that are known more for their off-campus parties than for their spirituality; we have sexual assault investigations and guys banned from certain all-girl's dorms; we've had students kicked out for drug activity; there are Freshman couples hooking up within the first one or two weeks of school and breaking up because one or the other is "struggling with their spirituality;" we're overflowing with flirt action hidden under the pick-up line: "I want to guard your heart." (See THIS page for campus crime statistics.)
Finding a man on campus? The majority of the girls in my acquaintance who will be graduated this year are going out into the world without marriage plans, without an engagement ring, without even a boyfriend. A lot of relationships that happen are not particularly mature or prepared for marriage. Yes, there is the occasional sophomore marriage – but believe me, it looks more insane than it does romantic. A lot of people collapse, after a long day here, among their closest friends, and admit, "This place is like high school all over again."
If you want diversity, you won't find it here. There are only a few black people; most people are moderately chill Catholics split about equally between the charismatics and… not charismatics; a lot of geeks and nerds, as well as geek and nerd wannabes; hardcore partiers and smokers, rebels, and cool people are the severe minority; and then there are the small populations of blatantly "traditional" Catholics and "full-length-skirt-addicts." Most people more or less dress the same – the jocks and drama queens being pretty much the only exception – and frisbee is the thing.
Babies are cute; friars and other religious are celebrities; discernment into religious life merits a huge celebration; and a day when it isn't raining is everyone's dream.
Oh – and I should mention the huge homosexual community.
In some respects, it's just like any other campus.
But a good girl with all her ideals intact… is more likely to get hurt here.
See, the bad guys here are hidden because everyone goes to Mass, signs up for an Adoration hour, goes to Theology classes, and has some kind of "lightning bolt of providence" story. And I'm sure these guys are essentially good people – they're just stupid when it comes to relationships. So they lure you in with tales of their struggles for holiness – and then they just stop talking to you. Or worse. (And then the respective Households get involved…. It can be messy.)
Brother-sister relationships abound. Which I'm happy about – I'm putting together a whole family over here! But girls actively seeking their knight-in-shining armor get hurt real fast.
So if you're going to college for your MRS degree, you may want to look elsewhere. I mean, my philosophy is to not look for an MRS degree. I think they're earned on a basis of merit, not effort. More like a scholarship. I like that – a scholarship to life: 'The MRS Scholarship, funded by Heavenly Father.'
But I digress.
Franciscan University has a lot of problems. And there are days where the only reason I'm still here…. It's Catholic. And if you are honestly doing your best to follow God and discern His plan for your life, you can find a very supportive and healthy spiritual community here. For all its flaws, this school is run on the idea that you can leave this place with a stronger relationship with Christ and a solid foundation to fall back on. So far, I'm finding that part of the school to be excellent (though it obviously isn't perfect). And I've got a pretty good head on my shoulders and a lot of grace on my side, thank God.
I've slowly been changing my perspective. I have to assume that I just might not leave this school on the arm of a man. With that in mind, I think I can get the most out of and give the most to this school.
But yeah, girls shouldn't come here assuming that their degree won't be terribly important when they graduate – it may be the only thing they have to live on when they leave this place.
~Meggy
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Dating – a (not so) new perspective
What I'm about to say may cause ripple affects within my small community of bloggers. I hope and pray that the ripples will be favorable when my name is seen in there, but whether it is favorable or not, I feel I have to put this out there. I know my readers and fellow bloggers that make up my small online community all are looking for satisfaction in the romance department. I've written posts about it; I've read posts about it; I've read books and articles and heard talks on it. But I have to say this about everything I thought about relationships – all the answers I got from those sources, although I believed them, left me very unsatisfied and anxious. What I'm about to say is a little radical.
This is all based off a homily by one of the TORs here on campus, so if you don't like what I have to say, may I just refer you to him? On the other hand, I'm not just repeating what he said – I believe every word he said with a passionate, grateful relief.
He is a spiritual director to many and, of course, he hears confessions. He has given more advice on dating and marriage than he probably should have to – some people here are just so stupid. No offense, because I know I am too.
Let's start with what he said on marriage because I'm pretty sure we can all agree on that and it's wise to start on common ground.
Marriage is for the emotionally and mentally ready, not for those who just fell in love. Men, are you ready to take care of your wife and child? give up your free lifestyle? get a job and support them at the cost of all else? Women, have you seen a counselor about your past? whether it was filled with abuse or one night stands or premarital sex of any kind, you need to get it worked out before you get into a serious relationship. Are you ready to possibly give up your dreams in order to be a homemaker? to raise screaming children? to support your husband as he works hard to support you? to be the heart of your home? If not, men and women, you cannot get married and assume that it will come in time.
Here's an example of a scenario you may want to consider: Man Roberts meets cute little Woman who goes on compulsive shopping sprees. The two get married and are living happily. Then Roberts goes over seas for a tour of duty, putting his life on the line for two years, and leaving his lonely wife at home. Finally, after two years of serving our country and putting his life on the line, Roberts returns home to find that Mrs. Roberts has spent his entire life savings away. ...What happens? It's in times like these that temptations arise – not when everything is going perfectly. So you have to think of these things.
But how do you find your soulmate?
I've heard this message a lot: "I kissed dating goodbye!" I think there's even a book titled that. ...As you probably guessed (especially if you know my writing style), I'm about to debunk that.
But probably not in a way you expect.
The problem with modern day dating is that if a guy asks a girl out on one date, the girl starts looking at wedding dresses (and nowhere is this a bigger problem than on the campus of Franciscan University). Guys can't even ask girls out for fear of the suggestion being taken as a proposal! Something my friend has been telling me but that never really got through to me is that you can date just to get to know the other person and figure out if you like them and if you're compatible. I would like to suggest (and as I do, I'm prepared to duck) that this is a very important concept.
Just about everyone in my corner of the blogosphere swoons over old-fashioned rules of courting. In fact, just the other day, I read a post about a post on another blog about the courting rules around the time of fiery Anne Shirley. I found it interesting (although I can't say that I was swooning, as you'll see if you read my comments: Rules of Courting in the 1900s on The Golden Road w/ link to original article).
Therefore, I'm going to try to manipulate you by relying on the romance of calling something "old fashioned" and examine a concept from the 1900s, but a few decades later. Try about the time of the 40s and 50s. Maybe the 60s. They had this concept called "going steady." Before "going steady," a guy could ask a girl out on a date, ask another girl out on a date, ask a third girl out on a date, ask the second girl out on another date, ask a fourth girl out on a date.... Then, slowly, a guy and girl could become slightly more attached, and at that point, they could "go steady."
The key here is that you meet a lot of different people, and you learn more about people and you learn more about yourself. You learn about what you're compatible with and what you're not compatible with. You learn what you're looking for in a spouse and you learn who makes a really good friend – and you learn who doesn't. But it's important that you don't put your whole heart and soul into that first date. You're light and free.
Why is this a good idea? Because (and I'm going to look at it from a girl's perspective here because I am one and so is most of my audience) if you focus all your efforts on just one man and he never asks you out or you go out for a while only to realize you're not made for each other, you've wasted days, weeks, maybe months or even years getting to know only one person and also ruling out everyone else in the name of "faithfulness."
After you go steady for a while (during which each only dates the other), the couple can mutually decide that they're in a serious relationship. Then after a while, they can mutually agree that this could be heading for marriage. And eventually, engagement can be a mutual thought.
I know everyone is going to be up in arms because they want their engagement to be a surprise. But just how surprised do you want to be? Agreeing that you're ready for it as a couple is not an engagement, it's just a go ahead for the man and a status update for the woman (and I'm not talking about Facebook).
Let me give you an example so that this makes a little more sense and you can better understand why this is genius:
I recently met a very nice guy who has shown a marked interest in me pretty much from the beginning. Although I like him very much, I'm not particularly attracted to him. But I'm not going to write him off because how on earth do I know what God has planned? And just because I have an interest in someone else doesn't mean that it's going to work out. It would be incredibly dumb to push "Mike" away just because I don't feel anything for him, only to realize after ages of going after someone unreachable how much I actually love "Mike." And then what could I do after ditching him?
So modern idea of dating? I still think we should throw it in the trash. Incredibly-ancient-idea of dating? I think we should put those knights in shining armor into a novel and snap it shut. There is a man in shining armor out there, but not just anyone that comes to your door is going to be him. And maybe you've been overlooking him because you're focusing all your efforts on one person before you even know if that person remembers your name.
And that's basically what the homily was about. These days, when we should not even be at the "going steady" stage, emotionally we're trying to be at the "serious relationship" stage.
So the Franciscan fantasy (from the girl's perspective) is to find the perfect man, get married right out of college (at the latest), and have nine kids and dress them all in Catholic school uniforms (in the words of Father). But in our attempt to simplify marriage, we've oversimplified it into a very complicated way of male-female relations. After all, I'm not exaggerating when I say that people here really do assume marriage is on its way when they see you talking to someone of the opposite sex. I've done it myself (although I flatter myself, I didn't take it that far).
So there's nothing wrong with being a one-guy girl (or a one-girl guy). I'm one of those. But maybe the girls/guys that don't commit right away have something on us. (Story of my life, right?) Besides, my friend and I were observing the other day that people become more universally desirable when someone shows an interest in them – not really sure why that is but 'tis true!
Guys and girls should be able to hang out and get to know each other without making a commitment to each other. So maybe those books on ditching dating are completely and utterly true when taken into context with modern dating. But that puts way too much pressure on me to reject flirts until I'm sure that I could possibly be interested in them. Not that that's been much of a problem but you know.
Long story short – really long story short – guy and girl need to be on the same page. And they need to read those pages slowly.
(I highlighted the sections that are directly from the homily. The rest are the details that he used and I filled them in best I could, or that I added based on my audience and personal experience.)
~Meggy
Enjoy
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
"Well, anyway – blah blah blah – long story longer"
----------------
I was writing in my journal one day and I wrote:
When I see his face, I do not see perfection, but I want to go on looking anyway. Is that love?
I paused; then went on:
Oh, I pray it is love! If it is only the beginning of love, oh what, God, You must feel for us!
----------------
A concept that is sometimes hard for me to remember:
----------------
----------------
The only remedy for love is to love more. You won't conquer it; you shouldn't conquer it. So, love so much that when it leaves your control and flies with its own wings, you can't help but smile through the pain.
----------------
After the most recent election, I sat back, disappointed, and thought stubbornly, "You would have no power over me unless it were given you from above."
But then I looked at my blog and cried. And I looked at the blogs I follow and cried. What had we done to further our cause?
We were silent.
----------------
Have you ever loved so much that you didn't know it, but when you met someone, in his absence, who had many of the same mannerisms, you felt your heart break in longing for his presence?
Have you ever known anyone with a genuinely beautiful smile – the kind that he/she isn't even aware of?
----------------
It's easy for me to sit back and say with assurance, "The Church will not be defeated. Let the world figure out what it is like without us and then we'll be back, like always, to rebuild from the rubble." For it's true. So why fret? ...But in the meantime, so many souls will be lost in the chaos. Unless we continue to fight.
But on the other hand, in twenty or thirty years, if no laws are made directly against the Church, large Catholic families will rule the world, will be the majority. And abortion had better be ready to fight when that happens. [Just making this up, by the way, I'm not basing it off actual figures.]
----------------
"The blood of the martyrs is the seed of the Church."
"Do you know who understands it better than we do? Satan."
(-on the importance of the person)
"We might be despised for what we do – but don't forget, there are those who are impressed."
----------------
----------------
When you fall in love, don't ask, "Will he make me happy?" Ask, "Can I make him happy?" Your happiness will lie in his.
----------------
Men: Don't worry – men who are too perfect turn me off. Don't be afraid to fail – I want to be your saving grace.
----------------
----------------
----------------
----------------
----------------
 |
| *contain |
~Meggy
Monday, July 2, 2012
Supplementing Your Summer: Balance
Balance Exercises
(songs at the end)
If you have any other tips or need me to clarify something, just comment!
(songs at the end)
If you find the above downright easy, or when you do, it may be time to move on to something a little more complicated, and I know nothing better than ballet exercises.
First, to get the most out of the following, I would recommend that you stand in first position and do some plies, with your glutes tight, working the rotation in your legs (do not rotate from the ankles: a.k.a, turn your leg out from the hip and do not force your foot any further than that!).
| You needn't go all the way down to grande plie |
Okay, so first exercise:
That's a passe, and it's not too hard (don't lean over as far as the rightmost girl appears to be). (If you wish, you could try this with your leg turned in, so that it points straight out in front of you.) Remain tall - let go. Hold. As long as you can, and remember to hold control, even when putting your foot down. Too easy? Try it on releve:
Unless you're a dancer or perhaps a gymnast, you probably won't be able to get up on releve that high^, and that's okay (it comes with a lot of practice and time). But the higher your heel and the straighter your leg, the less likely you are to strain something and the better your balance will be. (If you want to improve your strength, put the ball of your foot on the edge of a stair and rise all the way up and down.)
Anyway, in releve, try the passe again. Keep doing this until you're solid (30 seconds would be a good goal, but start small). Some tips:
- remember standing up tall and lifting yourself from the crown of your head? Vitally important here.
- And be constantly lifting the leg in passe from the thigh toward the ceiling (not with your hand). It keeps an up momentum. But keep your big toe lightly touching the side of your knee
- Think "up" if you have to!
- keep your upper body lifted! If you sag, it's like holding a sleeping baby - heavy
.................................
If you make it to this point, congratulations! Now, in releve, coupe. I suggest doing it front of your ankle:
If you can stand in releve like that, "extend out" - stretch your leg out to the side without collapsing! Remain at all times lifted to the ceiling!
*wipes brow* Whew! If we get threw these to the point of ease, let's move on. ...But till then, let's just do these over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over........
You could also try doing these while standing on a pillow, brushing your teeth, stirring a pot on the stove, etc..
If you have any other tips or need me to clarify something, just comment!
Next, we'll talk about names
~Meggy
Ain = own
(Have not watched this video, I only know the song)
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Supplementing Your Summer: Sit Down!
This should be a rather brief as the concept is really quite simple. Let's see if I can keep it that way. (song at the bottom)
Skip ahead in the above video to about 5:00 and watch the scene with Mr. Collins. Do you see how the ladies simply sink down into their chairs? And yet, sink isn't the right word. It's more like they are floating down like a feather.
One of my etiquette books has once said that you should lower yourself, still erect, into a chair.
I couldn't say it better than this: (click anywhere in the following to be redirected)
Friday Charm School - How to Sit Like a Lady Part 1
Welcome to Friday Charm School! Today's lesson is part 1 of how to sit like a lady. We'll look at how to sit down and get up from a chair like a lady with feminine grace and ease.
1. Approach the chair holding your best posture. Turn so your back leg brushes against the chair seat.2. Slide one foot back 2-3 inches under the chair seat.
3. Lower yourself into the seat keeping your head erect and your back straight. Most of your weight should be carried by the thigh of your back leg.
4. Ease down into the seat gracefully...don't flop.
5. For deeper seats or upholstered chairs where you can't slip your foot under, sit as above but on the edge of the seat. When seated, lift your weight slightly and slide back.
To rise from a sitting position, simply reverse the above steps. Lift yourself gracefully in one easy motion letting your back leg muscle do the work. Don't push up using the chair arms.
Practice makes perfect with this method of sitting down. Make your practice fun by lining up three chairs of varying heights. Put on some music and practice sitting in each chair in succession. Then do the same reversing the foot you slide back. Repeat until the motion becomes second nature.Today, notice how you sit down and get up. Try the above rules. This method will probably feel alien and strange at first. Now move a chair in front of a mirror and compare how you look when sitting down normally and how you look sitting with the rules. Is there a difference? Which do you prefer?I think that says it perfectly, don't you?
If you have any further tips or need me to clarify something, just comment!
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Supplementing Your Summer: Walking and Running
In this field, as in any field, I am not an expert. In fact, of all the topics I've covered, I probably know less about this one than to I do about any of the others.
Some tips for walking from my own experience:
Start by just standing - and remember to stand tall. Now, if you're like a great deal of the population, you stand on your heels. But maybe you don't if you're a dancer or you've practiced "walking on the balls of your feet." Feel where your weight is while you're standing. Put your hand on something to make sure you don't lose your balance (although that's something you should work on), and lift the balls of your feet. If you can do that without rocking the rest of your body backwards, then you probably stand on your heels.
Go stand in front of a mirror and stand tall (as always) with your feet straight and slightly apart. Look at your full profile. You look straight, right? From head to toe. But now lean forward (right from the ankle, don't bend at the waist) until you're about to fall over (notice that the weight has left your heels). Now lean back - but not all the way! Just until your heels are resting on the floor and are supporting you, but you aren't leaning on them. All the weight should still be in the balls of your feet. If you were to go from "heel standing" right to "ball standing", the difference would be about an inch really - but it feels like a lot more. If you look back in the mirror, you're still straight!
From what I can tell, this takes the brunt of your weight out of your lower back, knees, and calves, and into your thighs.
Now start walking with this stance in mind. It gives you a kind of forward propulsion. By now, you should be walking with amazing grace - so to speak.
Actually, if you read the following article on About.com about running, it gives you great tips even for walking!
I should mention that when articles such as this say not to tuck your pelvis or to "keep it neutral", they don't mean to ignore it. Quite the contrary. It's one thing to jam your hips by tucking it under or to let it stick out in back, and quite another to hold it under you (mainly with your abdomen).
Look Ahead
Your eyes should be focused on the ground about 10 to 20 feet ahead of you. Don't stare at your feet. Not only is this proper running form, but it's also a safer way to run because you can see what's coming.More: Tips for Running Safely
Land Midfoot
Don't be a toe runner or a heel-striker. If you land on your toes, your calves will get tight or fatigue quickly and you may develop shin pain. Landing on your heels means you have overstrided and you're braking, which wastes energy and may cause injury. Try to land on the middle of your foot, and then roll through to the front of your toes.More: Which Part of my Foot Should I Land On?
Keep Your Feet Pointed Straight Ahead
Make sure your toes are pointed in the direction you want to go. Running with your feet pointed in or out could lead to running injuries.Keep Hands at Your Waist
Try to keep your hands at waist level, right about where they might lightly brush your hip. Your arms should be at a 90 degree angle. Some beginners have a tendency to hold their hands way up by their chest, especially as they get tired. Ironically, you may actually get more tired by holding your arms that way and you'll start to feel tightness and tension in your shoulders and neck.Relax Your Hands
As you run, keep your arms and hands as relaxed as possible. You can gently cup your hands, as if you are holding an egg and you don't want to break it. Don't clench your fists because it can lead to tightness in the arms, shoulders, and neck.More: How to Avoid Tension While Running
Check Your Posture
Keep your posture straight and erect. Your head should be up, your back straight, and shoulders level. Keep your shoulders under your ears and maintain a neutral pelvis. Make sure you're not leaning forward or back at your waist, which some runners do as they get fatigued. Check your posture once in a while. When you're tired at the end of your run, it's common to slump over a little, which can lead to neck, shoulder, and lower-back pain. When you feel yourself slouching, poke your chest out.Relax Your Shoulders, Too
Your shoulders should be relaxed and square or facing forward, not hunched over. Rounding the shoulders too far forward tends to tighten the chest and restrict breathing.Rotate Arms from the Shoulder
Your arms should swing back and forth from your shoulder joint, not your elbow joint.Don't Bounce
Try to keep your stride low to the ground and focus on quick stride turnover. Too much up-and-down movement is wasted energy and can be hard on your lower body. Take short, light steps, as if you're stepping on hot coals. The higher you lift yourself off the ground, the greater the shock you have to absorb when landing and the faster your legs will fatigue.More: How Do I Avoid Bouncing When I Run?
Keep Arms at Your Side
Avoid side-to-side arm swinging. If your arms cross over your chest, you're more likely to slouch, which means you're not breathing efficiently. Imagine a vertical line splitting your body in half -- your hands should not cross it. Video - Proper Running Form: Watch this video to see what your running form should look like.(Click on any part of the above article to be redirected to it)
So there you go - some great tips, eh?
If you have any further tips or need my to clarify something, just comment!
Next we'll discuss sitting down....
~Meggy
What's this?
Monday, June 25, 2012
Supplementing Your Summer: Just breathe
Okay, so breathing is definitely important. Not only is it part of what is keeping you alive, it can also consume a lot of the energy that it helps create. Here's an exercise. Lie down and feel yourself breathe for awhile. Put one hand on your chest and one hand on your belly. You feel that? Now stand up again, and voila! Your breathing is back in your chest.
Well, ideally, you should be breathing from your belly. How do you do this? If you're a singer, you can basically skip this part. Some athletes might already know this too. It was important to first learn good posture because, chances are, if you're standing up tall, your ribs are wide open. Try standing up tall with your shoulders back so that your arms match the seams on your clothes. Now put your hands on your ribs and pull your shoulders up as high as they'll go. Do you feel how your ribs expand. Now drop your arms and see if you can "close" your ribcage, as in try to make it as small as you can (you may find your abdominal muscles engaging). Well, for breathing purposes, it'd be pretty hard to keep your ribs as wide as they are when your shoulders are up, but you don't want your ribcage to be closed for effective breathing.
Try to expand your ribs without using a huge gasp of air to do so. (Remember, your back should be straight, your shoulders back, and your chest up.) Now start breathing without moving your ribs in and out or your chest up and down. Lie down again if you need to get the feel for breathing in your belly.
Again, this is something that is going to take time getting used to. But say you take a long car ride - practice! What better time? You're not doing much else!
If you have any further tips or need me to clarify something, just comment!
Next we'll take about walking and running
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
