But in my defense, I was on the road on a 15-hour drive home for a long weekend. I had prepared ahead of time for the book club and there, bright and early on Saturday, it was up on the blog and I was getting ready to drive up to Maine for the day.
It did eventually occur to me that I had forgotten knitting day, which saddened me because I want to keep up with this and also because I've done so well so far.
Can you see the owl?!? This pattern is actually really easy. Get yo'self some needles of your most convenient size and some cable needles (pointy at both end). I think it's going to be cute, but I'm really confused about what the pattern is doing. I'm not sure why I need to decrease stitches or bind anything together. But I'm going to look into that and figure it out before I go on.
I hope you're knitting with me! Again, this particular pattern can be downloaded for free, (and this is not a paid endorsement of anything) or you can show us your own craftiness!
I feel a little like Edna: "It will be bold. Dramatic! Heroic!!"
I'm sitting here, thinking about where I want to go with blogging, and I'm realizing – it's got to catch up with me. No more, "Wellll… that looks pretty cute, we'll go with that design." Never again, "That's what I've always done," or, "This is what I've seen others do." This blog has to be me.
So I'm brainstorming. What's me? Well, I'm creative but I'm professional. I'm shy, but I'm determined. I'm quiet but not boring. My main hobbies include gardening, knitting, writing, baking, and… literature in general. How is this all going to come together? It's like being Irish, Italian, and German all at the same time. Wait. I am.
I'm working on a surprise for you, and I'm hoping that it'll be ready for you by Saturday - fingers crossed! But I can't make any promises. I'm checking my email regularly for the information I need…. If you're still reading and you'd like to know what it is, let me know in the comments! I'll make sure you get notified one way or another. :)
But more importantly, I'm looking for new blogs to follow. A week or two ago, I went through the list of blogs I used to read and… they are like old Scotish castles, falling to ruin on the hillside. I actually don't know if there are many Scotish castles falling to ruin on the hillside, but the point is that many of my favorite blogs are no longer being updated, and that has me sad. I'll be perusing around a bit, but I'd love to hear about a few of your favorite blogs. I can't wait to dive into them!
Well, I think I'm quite ready for another adventure.
I recently wrote a new post for my "professional" blog, if you will, that was passionate and heartfelt. I titled it "America Needs a Mending." It's kind of a play on words - maybe you can figure out why.
Lately, I've been getting it into my head to become a professional blogger. What does that mean? Good question. I don't know. I was looking at Iris Hanlin's blog and I was so darn impressed. I don't think she's earning any money doing what she does but she's good at what she does. I suppose to get started on my goal, I'd start off following her example. Maybe I'll try some kind of vlog. Maybe I'll have themes. Et cetera. Et cetera. . . .
But there's so much I still don't know. What to do. . . what to do. . . what to do with myself. When I started Our Hearts Unhindered, I had in mind something like Matt Walsh's blog. I'd like to just say that shortly after discovering Matt Walsh, I decided I greatly dislike him. But now's not really the time to get into why. Anyway, you may be able to tell that my Our Hearts Unhindered blog is modeled after his "blogging template," so to speak. But 'tis boring. 'Tis not fun. Any suggestions?
I broached this subject with my boyfriend recently, but the conversation was short-lived. I had no idea what I had in mind and he doesn't discuss well if I can't define my terms. He has a stricter scientific mind - which is good because that's ultimately what I need from him on this. I need him to help me figure out what I want and how to get it. But sometimes I don't realize that that's what I'm looking for and I don't go into the conversation with that in mind. So I quickly dropped it, made a mental note to think more on it later, and we went on doing something else.
I'll probably bring it up with him again. But do you have any suggestions? I want to go on blogging like I do here, but better. And I want to go on blogging like I do at Our Hearts Unhindered, but more better (and more attractive). Is there a way I can combine them?
Gosh I'm hungry. Good thing lunch is soon.
One thing I'm worried about is transparency. In my blogs, I'm not transparent. I've made an effort over the years to keep my blog secret from family and friends so that I could explore myself without shame, in a sense. I've gone back and forth about even putting my picture in my profile. And I've kept personal details strict on Our Hearts Unhindered. It's succeeded, but it may be holding me back.
Do I need to start over? Do I need to make a new blog that is a combination of all? Do I revamp this one and just keep going? I like that idea better, frankly: stop trying to be one thing and be all at once. Don't hide the fun, don't segregate the serious.
Alright, that's all the time I have to write at the moment, unfortunately, but I'll keep thinking. . . and I hope to hear from you! Clearly I need to sit down and really hash this out for myself. . . .
This is the first draft of a post for my other blog. I'm not sure if I like my conclusion. Please tell me what you think!
"Just because I love my job doesn't mean I don't love babies."
In the complicated, American culture we know and love today, women are being told that 1) you can have a career and a family, and 2) you can't really have both. If that seems confusing to you, well, that's because it is.
I don't remember specific incidents in my life of hearing one or the other, but I know they were there because I'm familiar with the conflict. I'm fairly certain it even comes up in children's movies. The dominant view in my life, however, was that you could, in fact, have both. Other young women had contrary experiences. Take Kimberly Reeverts, for example. She's quite upset that she's been told she can only have career or a family. And she's going tell you about how she's choosing both.
Now I'm a feminist of a certain sort. I won't go into the politics of different movements of feminism - let's just say I'm a fan of Emma Watson. And I'm a fan of Reevert's freedom to pursue her dream and use her talents to both fulfill her and contribute to society.
What I'm not a fan of is the "I want everything, I'm getting everything" mentality. It's shortsighted
Right now, I live in an apartment with two roommates. I work approximately 7 hours a day, 5 days a week. Now, I like housework. I like making my space neat, clean, comfortable, and inviting. And I am responsible for no one but myself and I still have a difficult task of finding time to take care of myself and my space. If I had my own car to take care of, it would be harder. If I had kids, it'd be even worse.
There are days that I drag my feet through because my boyfriend and I are running all over and I really need some quiet time to talk to him. And it can be emotionally draining and tough on both of us. Sometimes I'm just not in tune to him. Upgrade that to two full-time jobs with kids. Holy crap.
I'm not saying it can't be done. It can be, and families that do it well are an inspiration to me.
However, Reevert's approach to the difficulty fails to be any kind of a solution. She's studying hard to continue her education in literature, but now she's decided that she can't imagine her life without children – children that she, in fact, doesn't have yet. I'd like to hear back from her in a few years to know if it's what she expected.
Because talking to them on the street is one thing. Because balancing motherhood, professor-hood, and wifehood all at the same time is difficult.
"I started needing joy. All of a sudden I felt intense cravings for life experiences—quality life experiences. I need more and now. I need new and constant."
But that, alone, is not a good reason to have children, especially if you don't have time for them.
Reeverts might very well be able to make it work, but the trend in the culture is to say, "ME!!! I WANT." And we, in order to sustain our illusion, ignore the fact that children need their parents. They need their parents to have time for them. They need their parents to make them top priority. Can they survive without that? Yes…. Do you want them to?
I hope Reeverts all the best as she seeks to incorporate children into her life. They are a blessing and I hope she is blessed. But I hope she has considered that children have to be more than an adrenaline rush to her, because that's not what you're going to feel at 3 o'clock in the morning. I hope she knows that children are more than profound simplicity and are often immediately, selfishly demanding. I hope she realizes that her future children are a huge responsibility and when they move out of the house, they'll either think she's the best mom… or they won't.
Somebody's got to clean the house. Somebody's got to make the food. Somebody's got to run errands. Somebody's got to take care of the sniffly little one.
Why do we, today, think that we can do everything? Because we can. And we think we should.
Reeverts doesn't have to have it all figured out and planned to the last detail before she starts on her family; but may she not be disappointed.
Full disclosure, I have never seen a full Jurassic movie before. But I have seen parts of them, and I dare say that "Jurassic World" carries on the tradition with well-executed epicness.
I had heard a while ago that this movie was coming out and my first reaction was, "World? Seriously? All the movies nowadays keep trying to be bigger and better." Ironically, that's a theme in the movie, but I won't give too much away in case you haven't seen it. (And it is BIG. But is it better? I don't know!)
My other reaction to the trailers was apprehension. The tension of waiting for people to die is tough on me and I didn't think I could handle it. Certainly, there are "explicit," if you will, death scenes. You watch people die. And sometimes it's sad and sometimes it's downright unfair, but most, though not all, of the deaths were faced bravely and/or in the line of doing one's duty and beyond, and a person can really respect that.
It's about doing one's job. It's about family. It's about compassion. It's about respecting animals. The popular theme of "using this as a weapon in war" comes up, yet again, in this movie – you can be the judge of whether it's been overused or not. I found it credible. SPOILER:
I'm glad that, so far, our heroes are true American heroes and reject that notion.
SPOILER ALERT:
Both the characters and the casting for them were amazing. Chris Pratt, quickly becoming a favorite of mine, plays Owen – a man out of the Navy and a nature-respecting velociraptor "trainer." Bryce Dallas Howard plays Aunt Claire, a higher up in the park's management who is a little too distracted to notice family or care about the dinosaurs as animals, but ultimately she has a heart of gold. They don't particularly like one another, but when danger threatens the park, Owen and Claire go on a mission to save her two nephews from a danger they will soon meet face to teeth.
I was overjoyed to see Jake Johnson appear in this film as a prominent character – not only was he prominent but he was a respectable, lovable voice of reason. A little nerdy, a little too down to earth for the "office," his character Lowery stands to the last for the good of the dinosaurs and to support the others. He's also funny, which can at times be just a change of pace because he's one of the few characters who isn't too serious.
The other characters had many facets, and I was especially intrigued by the park's owner, who at first seemed like an admirable guy but who turned out to be a fool, if a brave one.
(For the following, please consult the "Movie Points" list in the sidebar.)
I want to only take off half a point for plot because there are a few developments I have to raise a skeptical eyebrow to, but overall, I was extremely satisfied with the storyline and mostly even the character development.
The morality in the movie is laudable but SPOILER the boy's parents are getting a divorce. It's so minor in the movie, however. Owen does swear three times, but I thought it was appropriate to the circumstance. Overall, I only take half a point for "immorality." Mostly, good ethics and morals are promoted by this movie.
As for theatrics/drama, I don't think you'll be disappointed. I am often critical of CGI but I believed every moment of this movie. Perhaps an audience with more experience of dinosaur movies would disagree, but I was very satisfied with visual believability. Furthermore, the climax did not disappoint. It was unbelievably epic and brought all the tension and power to a peak right at the crucial moment.
Rating: D (watching people get eaten may be too much for some children)
Points: 9/10, full satisfaction points
Now that summer is here, I have a decently challenging to-do list:
1) laugh at people more (see #2) [will explain in more detail at a later time]
2) Read Anne of Green Gables
3) read C. S. Lewis' The Four Loves
4) finish reading The Iliad of Homer, The Aeneid, The Divine Comedy, and Anna Karenina (bonus: Augustine's Confessions)
5) plan a book club
6) finish writing (or editing) at least one novel
I'd like to give a shoutout to the gal over at Heavenly Aspirations, since she also wrote about her summer plans and I think they are kinda inspiring. :) [UPDATE: Sarah over at A Free Mind also told us about her summer plans :) ]
I don't know about you but Pirates of the Caribbean always motivates me.
And then there's young Sungha Jung's version, which is also really awesome:
(Also, Enya Radio on Pandora is usually really great to listen to for inspiring and motivating music that won't distract you!)
The following is from a new idea I have. Please let me know what you think! I've had a lot of trouble writing for some time now, but I'm determined to break bad habits and put the passion back into my talent. If you have something encouraging to say, it would do a lot for my confidence. If you have critiques, I'll accept that, too, because I want to figure out where my problems are.
Here goes. I think I might call this book Welcome to the Wood, but I'm not sure.
"Welcome to the wood," she said.
†
Hearing a voice melodiously mingled with the murmuring of the leaves in the wind, merely a whisper at first, he stepped off the road and forged into the wood. The singing, a woman's voice, was deeply enchanting; the tune haunting. He pursued it deep into the wood, marking his way as he went and noting landmarks, such as a great oak growing on a rock in a clearing as wide around as its branches. But the voice was not in the direction of the clearing. He veered away from it in the brush and weaved on.
At last he found her, harshly rubbing a cloth against itself in the deep brook. Her black hair rested on her shoulders and tickled the ground as her slender body crouched there. Her sleeves were rolled up to her ivory-white, sculpted elbows; her strong arms, fine wrists worked back and forth in the water. She couldn't be more than 25 years old. And at last he distinguished the words she sang:
If the water is too cold…
Go right in and catch a toad…
But if the water, the water is too hot…
Throw him… throw him in, throw him in a boiling pot….
She stopped when he had come near and looked at him: long, hollow cheeks and nose; closely trimmed beard; clear, round eyes; long hair; young; sword nearly concealed by his cloak. "Welcome to the wood," she said. "It's a lovely day, isn't it?"
"It is, madam," he said. "May I ask why you've come so far into the wood to wash a cloth?"
"I live in the wood," she said, wringing out her cloth. "What have you come for?"
"I heard your voice while taking a morning stroll, as I like to do. It's an odd song. I've never heard it before."
"The words are not original to the melody," she said, her eyes locking with his unabashedly. "The melody, ages old, belongs to a song about a lost loved one. It was taught to me many years ago."
His imagination was captivated by her elegant beauty. "Would you care to walk with me?"
"I must take this back to the house," she said.
"I'd be honored to walk with you," he pressed.
Smiling, "I think perhaps not this time. But if you walk in the wood often, I will see you again. Fare thee well."
As she noiselessly moved through the brush, he moved to follow her. But she was out of sight and he, an honorable man, would not track her like a stag. Rather, after a few minutes, he found the road again and continued his walk, musing. The leaves of the mountain laurel resembled the color of her pinafore. The soft brown of a bracket mushrom was similar to her mysteriously wise eyes.
But slowly, a bitterness settled in his face; and turning, he retraced the road back into town and to his room at Greeneback Tavern.
I'm sorry to have been neglectful for so long – Thank you very much for coming back and reading :) ~Meggy (Also, if you'd like, check out my other blog for a recent update (and writing experiment): Our Hearts Unhindered)
First off, a new post is coming out today on Our Hearts Unhindered about long-distance relationships. My boyfriend encouraged me to share our experience, and I hope some people will find encouragement and wisdom. That is to say that I sure hope wisdom is in there. Be sure to like the Facebook page for updates.
So I could swear that a couple semesters or more ago, I went to a talk given by a guy who had struggled with same sex attraction for years. He talked about the difficulty, how we should help those we know with same sex attraction, and a little about the politics of it. It was an interesting talk and I wish I could remember a more about it. Especially because he also talked about his healing. I don't mean spiritual healing; I mean sexual attraction healing, if I may call it that. He said that counselors in school are not allowed to do anything but encourage students with concerns to pursue their same sex attractions; but he actually sought therapy and with time, he wasn't attracted to men like before (not that it never crosses his mind – habits don't like to die).
When I try to figure out who he was and get some factual information, I can't find him. Hardly surprising since it is such a delicate topic – I admire him for talking to a bunch of students about it. But the truth is, it's hard to find anything about counseling for the condition. My browser is beginning to pick up on what I'm looking for and has put the pieces together, but so far, all the hits are of Catholic or Christian websites, mostly that I've never heard of. I was very interested to find, however, that the url http://samesexattraction.org/ is about helping those with unwanted attraction recover – how did they manage to snag that one!
I found it particularly sad when I read this article. I was very impressed by it, but I also honed in on: "Us folks, who have SSA, we struggle with a lot. Among those things are body image, father wounds, bouts of depression, feeling less masculine, and a lot of us aren’t good at sports (which makes it harder for us to bond with other men)." What I noticed was that many of these complaints are treatable. A document I found on the EWTN website said this:
A number of therapists have written extensively on the positive results of therapy for same-sex attraction. Tripp chose to ignore the large body of literature on treatment and surveys of therapists. Reviews of treatment for unwanted same-sex attractions show that it is as successful as treatment for similar psychological problems: about 30% experience a freedom from symptoms and another 30% experience improvement.
[I didn't read the whole article. The part on Therapy is intriguing, however.]
And other sources, again mostly Christian, insist that is is possible for some individuals to find relief. I don't know if the author of "Why I Chose Love" has sought treatment or help of any kind, but many, many individuals don't know that it is available to them. This breaks my heart. We are hearing many more stories about people who struggle with same sex attraction resolving to remain chaste (and ultimately celibate) – and I bet no one has even mentioned this possibility to them.
I am absolutely no expert on homosexuality – I can't even pretend to know a little bit about it. I learned some in a psychology class once, and then in talks, and from various Catholic literature. My question is: what do youknow about it? Have you heard about this option? Do you know anyone with same sex attraction and do you think they could benefit from therapy of any kind (for depression or self-esteem or what have you)? I would really appreciate some feedback. I'd like to share "Why I Chose Love" on Our Hearts Unhindered but I prefer to write my own brief two cents to go with it. If you have personal experience with anything like this, I'd love to hear about it!
Also, I am currently reading an interesting book called A Return to Modesty by Wendy Shalit. It is really fascinating and I highly recommend it to anyone who would like to explore the practical definition of modesty. Among many other points, she suggested that we are not just beginning to recognize and admit female desire for physical intimacy. She had some quotations that seemed to support her point. But the part that really caught my attention was this: some quotes even suggested that not only do women have a strong desire for physical intimacy, but it may even be stronger than men's! The difference is that women have an innate sense of the holy, if you will, and are cautious, want their physical intimacy to be special and safe.
So here's my question: how does that strike you? If you are female, do you think women have at least as strong a sexual drive as men? Could it be different in some way? Please feel free to keep your comment anonymous. I'll share my own thoughts in a post on Our Hearts Unhindered if I can get a sense of how others feel; but know this: I felt relieved by the possibility that women in general have a strong sexual drive.
I won't quote from your comments without your permission, if at all (depends on how fantastically brilliant your comments are, I guess); but I may give an overall summary of my findings and a link back to this post if I find it necessary.
This summer, as I've already discussed, I have a lot of plans. Of course, there's all the garden work, which you can read about by clicking here. But I have so many other hopes and dreams for this summer. Looking over the list at Heavenly Aspirations inspired me to put it all down and solidify what I really want to do. So here I'm working on a list and I can't wait to get home and get started!
1. Paint my room yellow and decorate it will the bright magenta paint my sister wanted.
2. Figure out the furniture arrangement for better space management.
3. Finish the rest of the Jane Austen novels.
4. Go to the beach at the lake in New Hampshire at least twice a month and memorize the drive so I'll never get lost again. Find the beach with all the snails.
5. Find a way to remember the little things of the summer (e.g. collecting little souvenirs or taking candid photos).
6. Go to the Adoration chapel at least once a week.
7. Drive the backroads (in my dad's sports car convertible) with country music turned up (extra: with my boyfriend).
8. Grow the most successful garden yet!
9. Ride a bike a couple times a week, just enjoying it.
10. Take my dog for a walk and for hikes and brush her plenty often (extra credit: see if you can keep the brushing up so well that she doesn't really need a bath all summer).
11. Use an old sheet or something to make a first experiment at a wedding dress pattern. Decide if I really want to sew my own or not!
12. Finish knitting the scarf and tuck it away for winter. Learn to crochet.
13. Really push myself on the piano and learn at least one hard but beautiful song. (extra credit: memorize every note!)
14. Make more progress with voice and guitar. (extra credit: be ready to play and sing great when my boyfriend visits! have music ready so we can sing together)
15. Read a good novel by campfires until it's too dark to see. Then just sit and listen to nature. (extra credit: roast potatoes and pop corn kernels in the fire!)
16. Get really good at Latin so I can help my sister and be ready when I take my final semester in the spring.
17. Read more philosophy and really get it.
18. Find a new author (or rediscover an author) to help you get through the fall semester.
Click HERE to visit the original tag at Climbing the Alpine Path. Day Eight Least Favorite Companions Last entry, I said:
Rose was annoying, Martha was pitiable, and Clara is too cute. Clara almost overpowers the Doctor, in my humble opinion. I know some people like her because she is cute and sassy, but I feel like her story domineers the show and her personality is stronger than the Doctor's – which annoys me greatly.
So yes, those are my thoughts. It's hard for me to say that I don't like one of the companions–– No wait, I cannot stand Vastra and Jenny. They are trying too hard to be cool and FAILING. …In my humble opinion. They're homosexual??? relationship is also just plain irritating. Like why? Adds nothing to anything. ~Meggy
Donna Noble is definitely my favorite character. She doesn't take any crap but she is spunky and funny, sassy, and not a drama-queen (in general) and yet still has emotional depth. She keeps the Doctor in check in many different ways in a lot of situations. I also happen to really enjoy her episodes – whether that's because she is in them, I'm not sure.
The Ponds are possibly next on the list – they were fun and funny. But towards the end, I got tired of their drama (notice a theme?). It seemed clear to me that the plots were written simply to continue building the Ponds' relationship, and I didn't feel it was working very well.
Rose was annoying, Martha was pitiable, and Clara is too cute. Clara almost overpowers the Doctor, in my humble opinion. I know some people like her because she is cute and sassy, but I feel like her story domineers the show and her personality is stronger than the Doctor's – which annoys me greatly.
Of the three I've seen extensively, I'm inclined to say that Matt Smith is my favorite. David Tennant is really good (he's one of my favorite actors), and Christopher Eccleston has his own charm – but Matt Smith's character is less wrapped up in his own emotion and self-imagined drama. He pities himself less, at least noticeably. Matt Smith's character is clearly just having fun while still saving the world.
David Tennant's character is extremely funny as well as dramatic, but takes himself too seriously (as evidenced by the specials at the end of his run). The character development allows for this… but Matt Smith's character is just more fun for me to watch. (Keeping in mind that I have little patience with drama-queen characters.)
I… was going to write about something… but now I don't remember what. Hmm. Huh. Befuddled.
Well! Anyway, have you checked out my new blog yet? I'd really appreciate it if you would! And also, if you're on Facebook, follow the blog on Facebook! I'm not exactly sure why… but I want to promote my new blog and make it something real. I want to take my blogging to the next level.
I guess we'll see!
I suppose next time I'll talk about Franciscan households, intenting, and maybe post a vague reflection on a relationship that's finally crumbling around me. Fun stuff. Nothing you haven't already heard from me before. But you'll want to read it anyway. Because I'm just that awesome. Yup.
Someone recently compared me to Eeyore. I love it! I'm totally like Eeyore!
"Eeyore, what are you doing there?" said Rabbit. "I'll give you three guesses, Rabbit. Digging holes in the ground? Wrong. Leaping from branch to branch of a young oak tree? Wrong. Waiting for somebody to help me out of the river? Right. Give Rabbit time, and he'll always get the answer." "But, Eeyore," said Pooh in distress, "what can we - I mean, how shall we - do you think if we -" "Yes," said Eeyore. "One of those would be just the thing. Thank you, Pooh."
"I might have known," said Eeyore. "After all, one can't complain. I have my friends. Somebody spoke to me only yesterday. And was it last week or the week before that Rabbit bumped into me and said 'Bother!'. The Social Round. Always something going on."
Well. Anyway. I should be getting to bed about now….
"I mean, I'm mostly going to college to find a husband."
Don't come to Franciscan. According to THIS SITE and one other, the boy/girl ratio is between 40/60 and 30/70. There are a lot of girls. A lotof girls, especially compared to so few guys!
I know: "I'm hoping to find a good Catholic husband, so where better than at a great Catholic college?" Yeah, well, good theory, but Catholicism doesn't come with automatic awesomeness. It'd be nice if it did, wouldn't it? You may know a person who is Catholic and seemingly devout but has so many character flaws you wish they were atheist so you could "convert" them. From my view on this campus, Franciscan seems to be the preferred and chosen college for this type of person.
Smoking and drinking are not foreign to this campus. You have to know the right people in order to get really stoned, but it's not hard to find them – just listen to the right people talking about, well, the wrong people. Smokers stand outside every building. …Not constantly, but you'll see a few on a daily basis if you're paying attention.
Smoking is not inherently evil, so far as I can figure (although I hear tell that cigarettes are really, really bad for you). But it has been my limited experience that most of the guys standing outside in "smoking rings" on a regular basis – cigarettes, cigars, or pipes – are charter members of the group of guys that smart girls are learning not to dream about.
So smoking is directly related to weak character? Well, no, I can't prove that. It could be that the majority of the campus male population is of weak character; in which case, it would naturally follow that the campus male smoker population would be largely dominated by this type…. After all, there are plenty of stay-away-from-hims that don't smoke or drink every Friday night.
But that's just a taste of what you'll find on the Franciscan campus.
City on a hill? Salt of the earth? Light of the world? Certainly, all those things. The Franciscan Friars are so adorable and so powerful and so life changing/challenging. The witness of a chapel full of young adults singing to God four Masses a Sunday, three a weekday is breathtaking. Perpetual Adoration, Students for Life, The Harmonium Project, Red Light Ministry… and whatever else we have going on 'round here – sometimes it's hard to keep track of it all.
At the same time, we've got Households that are known more for their off-campus parties than for their spirituality; we have sexual assault investigations and guys banned from certain all-girl's dorms; we've had students kicked out for drug activity; there are Freshman couples hooking up within the first one or two weeks of school and breaking up because one or the other is "struggling with their spirituality;" we're overflowing with flirt action hidden under the pick-up line: "I want to guard your heart." (See THIS page for campus crime statistics.)
Finding a man on campus? The majority of the girls in my acquaintance who will be graduated this year are going out into the world without marriage plans, without an engagement ring, without even a boyfriend. A lot of relationships that happen are not particularly mature or prepared for marriage. Yes, there is the occasional sophomore marriage – but believe me, it looks more insane than it does romantic. A lot of people collapse, after a long day here, among their closest friends, and admit, "This place is like high school all over again."
If you want diversity, you won't find it here. There are only a few black people; most people are moderately chill Catholics split about equally between the charismatics and… not charismatics; a lot of geeks and nerds, as well as geek and nerd wannabes; hardcore partiers and smokers, rebels, and cool people are the severe minority; and then there are the small populations of blatantly "traditional" Catholics and "full-length-skirt-addicts." Most people more or less dress the same – the jocks and drama queens being pretty much the only exception – and frisbee is the thing.
Babies are cute; friars and other religious are celebrities; discernment into religious life merits a huge celebration; and a day when it isn't raining is everyone's dream.
Oh – and I should mention the huge homosexual community.
In some respects, it's just like any other campus.
But a good girl with all her ideals intact… is more likely to get hurt here.
See, the bad guys here are hidden because everyone goes to Mass, signs up for an Adoration hour, goes to Theology classes, and has some kind of "lightning bolt of providence" story. And I'm sure these guys are essentially good people – they're just stupid when it comes to relationships. So they lure you in with tales of their struggles for holiness – and then they just stop talking to you. Or worse. (And then the respective Households get involved…. It can be messy.)
Brother-sister relationships abound. Which I'm happy about – I'm putting together a whole family over here! But girls actively seeking their knight-in-shining armor get hurt real fast.
So if you're going to college for your MRS degree, you may want to look elsewhere. I mean, my philosophy is to not look for an MRS degree. I think they're earned on a basis of merit, not effort. More like a scholarship. I like that – a scholarship to life: 'The MRS Scholarship, funded by Heavenly Father.'
But I digress.
Franciscan University has a lot of problems. And there are days where the only reason I'm still here…. It's Catholic. And if you are honestly doing your best to follow God and discern His plan for your life, you can find a very supportive and healthy spiritual community here. For all its flaws, this school is run on the idea that you can leave this place with a stronger relationship with Christ and a solid foundation to fall back on. So far, I'm finding that part of the school to be excellent (though it obviously isn't perfect). And I've got a pretty good head on my shoulders and a lot of grace on my side, thank God.
I've slowly been changing my perspective. I have to assume that I just might not leave this school on the arm of a man. With that in mind, I think I can get the most out of and give the most to this school.
But yeah, girls shouldn't come here assuming that their degree won't be terribly important when they graduate – it may be the only thing they have to live on when they leave this place.
One of the unique opportunities I have attending seminary, after ten years of marriage, is discipling young men who are single or dating. One of the disadvantages, however, is not being current on the lingo.
This struck me in a recent conversation with a friend who told me he had gone out several times with a young lady and was uncertain about the status of the relationship. Curious, I asked him if he was planning on continuing to date this girl.
“You misunderstand,” he said, “we aren’t dating – we’re just talking.”
“Talking?” I replied, a little confused, “you mean like we’re talking right now.”
“No,” he explained, “we’re at the stage of the relationship just before dating. It’s called talking.”
Dumbfounded and feeling a little old and disconnected, I decided to investigate this new pre-dating phenomenon. “Talking,” I discovered, is a widely accepted stage in current guy/girl relationships wherein a young man and a young woman get to know each other without better defining the relationship. This isn’t even a real stage of the relationship; it’s a pre-stage. They’re not just friends; they’re not really dating or pursuing marriage; they’re “talking.”
After these conversations, I was left with the question: Do we really need another stage in relationships that are directed toward marriage?
Shirking Responsibility
Our culture suffers from a large number of males wallowing around in quasi-manhood for many years. Boys used to grow up, get a job, and move out of the house. But we have inserted this chain of life stages from adolescence, to the college years, to early career, and so on – all of which permit young men to put off growing up, taking responsibility, and generally acting like a man.
This new phase of pre-dating called “talking” is like adolescence for relationships: an unnecessary stage in the relationship allowing young men to avoid taking responsibility and acting like men. It prevents the man from having to be clear about his intentions to pursue or end the relationship. If he wants to stop “talking,” he simply walks away, leaving behind a confused, and potentially wounded, young lady.
John Piper defines biblical masculinity as, “a sense of benevolent responsibility to lead, provide for and protect women in ways appropriate to a man’s differing relationships.”[1] It is the responsibility of the man to take a leadership role in relationships, to be forthright, honest, and clear about his intentions. This “talking” phase normalizes relationship without responsibility; closeness without clarity; cultural manhood, not biblical manhood.
The young ladies I’ve spoken to share this frustration. They are left in a state of relational limbo, where they are unsure of the young man’s intentions and the purpose of the relationship. They are stuck going on non-dates with guys who are scared to date.
In their defense, guys tell me they are afraid to ask a lady out because she might immediately assume he wants to marry her. I understand the concern, but that does not change the need for character – it makes it all the more necessary.
Intentionality Is a Way to Serve Sisters in Christ
First, you should ask girls out that you see as potential wives. Second, when you don’t see her as a potential wife any longer, explain yourself and then stop asking her out. Third, throughout the relationship be clear, upfront, and honest about your intentions. If you just want to get to know her better, tell her so. If you see this relationship turning into something more serious, tell her that too. If you think she’s a great girl but don’t want to pursue the relationship further, tell her! That’s the kind of “talking” that should characterize the relationship.
If things don’t work out, and if you’ve acted like a true man, you’ve gotten to know a sister in Christ better and helped prepare her to meet her future husband. If things do work out, congratulations, you’re married. Those are the only two options for a man of God.
If you are a young man intimidated by the prospect of intentionally pursuing a young woman as a wife, seek the Lord in fervent prayer. Search your heart and your intentions to ensure they are grounded in the gospel and informed by Scripture. With your conscience clear before the Lord and your heart and mind shaped by His word, stand confident in the care of your heavenly Father (and hers) and speak boldly to your sister in Christ. Our God is a God of truth, and your sister in Christ deserves to know the truth from you.
If you are a young lady stuck with a guy who isn’t interested in pursuing you but expects your prolonged time and attention as he “talks” to you, ask yourself if this is the type of indecisive boy-man you want to follow for the rest of your life. It is impossible to follow someone who will not lead. Find a man who will treat you as a sister in the Lord deserves to be treated: with honesty, integrity, and clarity.
It’s time to kiss “talking” goodbye. Our brothers and sisters in Christ deserve better than this.
A wood elf? An elderly witch? An enchantress? A wild child? A changeling?
Who would live in a gnarly old tree?
___
After a long wait, I see… a girl. A young woman. Perhaps a wood nymph. What is she? She ducks as she passes under the lintel. She's a blonde. Her hair reaches her waist and swishes back and forth with her delicate frame as she pads bare, softly on the exposed roots.
She carries a wooden bucket. The rope is over her arm, chafing the soft skin in the crook of her arm; but she puts her hand to the bucket, steadying it away from the door post.
The dress loosely shapes to her slender form and folds around her legs, the color matching and blending with the tree. The hemline brushes the ground but, unevenly cut, revealed her feet as she walked. She needlessly pinches the skirt with one hand – a graceful, feminine gesture.
She glances around. It's not in fear or trepidation. She seems to marvel at her surroundings. Or maybe she is looking for someone. With a little jump, she sprints away; off to her right, back behind her tree home –
I've lost sight of her. Where did she go?
The tree is huge. Is there more than one level? Stones have been worked into the tree to create the doorpost. The door is set into the tree, held in place by two long iron hinges. No, not iron. Wood, painted black. A round knocker is on the door. There is no visible door latch. The knocker is wood; it makes a low, heavy thumping when it falls against the door. No one is home. …I cannot see her anywhere near.
The door won't push open.
~Meggy
P.S. I checked the source of this photo and the accompanying description is about leprechauns. Huh, didn't even think of that.
Hated this episode. I thought Rory was a bit out of character with how he was handling the divorce, Amy's reason was stupid, and duh Rory loves her more!! …And the Daleks are making less and less sense these days….
Night Terrors
This episode was just weird. Although it had a cute family message in the end, the episode was just a little off. For one, it was better suited for an episode where the Doctor is traveling on his own. Amy and Rory were kind of unnecessary. I was that kid who imagined her own world because she felt alone – so that premise fascinated me, but the episode was weird. It was just weird.
There are so many episodes that I disliked for one reason or another, and it's hard to narrow it down and just talk about the ones that I honestly didn't like all over.
Voyage of the Damned
To be fair, I've only seen this episode once, and I was trying to introduce a friend to the show at the time, so I was disappointed that her first episode wasn't better. But my memory tells me that tons of people died dramatically, unnecessarily, and seemingly just because the writers wanted it to be sad and for the Doctor to be devastated.
Amy's Choice
There's nothing wrong with this, per se, I just didn't really enjoy it. It was trying to pit Rory and the Doctor against each other, and yet it wasn't trying to do that, and it was trying to say that if the Doctor was not on the side of the angels (if I may borrow that line from Sherlock) he would be like this dream dude, and the conflict between what Amy wanted and what Rory wanted was pushed but not opened. It was like a bunch of issues were touched on but not confronted or solved.
ALSO! In the last installment, I forget to mention tons of Rory moments which are absolutely my favorite. But I won't list them – just know, he's awesome.
"There is no objective truth." I mean, everything taught in school is just taught so that you can later reject it. Whenever you ask a question, the answer is simply the answer that your mentor likes to believe. If "there is no objective moral truth," that explains why the jails are empty and the globe is one big family, each individual holding nothing against the other.
Okay, so obviously, there is objective truth. There is objective moral truth. And that means that there is only one way to live. Stealing is either right or wrong. Killing is either right or it's wrong. Bullying is either harmless or it's bad. Abuse is either helpful or it's very, very hurtful.
So there is one way of life. I won't tell you what is it here; that's not my drive.
My drive is at the concept of having one way to live, but having many types. For example, there are the "Mother Theresa"s, and there are the the "Dorothy Day"s, and there are the "Little Flower"s and the type of person that lives just down the street, volunteering at soup kitchens and donating to charity. There is missionary work to be done – but it can be as abnormal and far-flung as going to a third world country, or as routine and ordinary as giving to those in need in your own community.
That understood, is there only one type of person? Is each objective-truth-possessing individual a carbon copy of each other? No, obviously, so should they be?
Well, I think of it this way. "Bob" is a straightforward person with a gentle voice and tender compassion. Working with those who have been hurt might be right up his alley. "Kent" is an active person with endless energy and extra batteries in his mouth motor. He likes to say it as it is and preach, preach, preach. Sometimes the truth blinds him to the tenderness a soft soul might need for healing. He's probably more suited for conferences and mission trip talks, and so on.
And likewise, my friends who like to be everywhere at once and share everything that comes into their heads in the name of "testimony" are entitled to so. Some people need friends like that – friends that are open and that challenge you to go to new distances. But if you are, like me, a quieter soul that likes to hold back a little, there's nothing wrong with that either. Some are intimidated by people who tell too much.
So, one way. Many types.
If people could just learn that, I think we'd all be understood a little better.
I would like to present Banrion An Gheimhridh (from Climbing the Alpine Path) with the BestCommenter Award for her frequent and relevant comments. Last month, her comments topped all others. Her comments outnumbered all others combined, and what she had to say was thought-provoking and helpful. She connected what she read with her own experience, and was kind enough to share those thoughts.
So without further ado, Banrion An Gheimhridh, I offer you, in gratitude, the Best Commenter Award, in hopes that you will accept it and, I hope, find someone else you can bestow the award upon.
There are only a few simple rules:
Should you choose to accept the award, you will always have the power to pass it on to other outstanding commenters like yourself.
In addition, at the beginning of next month, evaluate the comments of this current month and graciously present the Best Commenter Award to the person that commented the most often. Give a testimony of their greatness and, if they are also a blogger, link to their blog. (This is a one time obligation and you will not be expected to repeat this every month for the rest of your blogging career.)
Optional: give an acceptance speech on your own blog and leave a link in the comments below!
Can you see the owl?!? This pattern is actually really easy. Get yo'self some needles of your most convenient size and some cable needles (pointy at both end). I think it's going to be cute, but I'm really confused about what the pattern is doing. I'm not sure why I need to decrease stitches or bind anything together. But I'm going to look into that and figure it out before I go on.
