My Temperament

(There are more songs at the end of this post if you are interested in listening to them while you read.)

A while ago - gosh, it's probably been longer than it feels like - the subject of temperaments came up but briefly.  In the comments I revealed that my temperament is melancholic, and perhaps my temperament is part of the reason for the past several days.  If you've been following me closely, you've probably noticed my change of attitude.

Well, I'm glad to say that today is the first day that I've felt that it's really under control.  And I don't know what it is exactly, because it's not like the usual depression that I struggle with from time to time.  It's almost like... like a... spiritual plummet.  It's nothing I can seem to control, and it's nothing that seems to have a common denominator except perhaps first an illusion of a spiritual break through.  It's something that I tend to forget about until it comes back around, and it's only happened a few times in my life that I can remember.

It has nothing to do with life.  Life has been fine.  I'm tired and worn out beyond belief at times, but I went to the opera on Saturday night and came home later than ever - and I feel better than ever since!

So it doesn't make sense.  Sometimes I wonder if I have some kind of condition, like gluten intolerance or something....  But I just felt like crap, if you'll pardon the word.  In this state, I can't stand to think about myself, I can't stand to think about anyone else without judging them, I can't bear to think of anything inconvenient that might happen without wanting to collapse.  It doesn't really seem to affect my outward behavior too much, only my inner.  But my inner behavior is what comes out on the page.

So I apologize if my behavior seemed crude and immature.  The worst part of this thing, whatever it is, is that it sets back my inner thinking in maturity - or so it feels like.  But considering, maybe it has actually been an occasion of maturity, in the end.  My mind is slow, but good.  I've been much mellower, mentally speaking than I have been in ages.  And I feel like I'm on the road to repairing certain relationships.

So maybe it's only stress - who knows?  But it's wonderful to finally be out of it.

I just heard this song and, omgosh, Bing Crosby!  I knew you could sing low, but - someone grab the smelling salts! - that last note!  *swooning*  I have been swooning over every male voice lately when they perform some feat, like Rex Smith in 'The Pirates of Penzance' with his plea to the maidens, and 'Siesta' by Frank Sinatra, 'I Wouldn't Be a Man' by Josh Turner (listen to the way he just croaks out that note like a bull frog), and this here song sung here by Bing Crosby.  Bing Crosby is amazing, naturally, but go to the end and listen to that last blessed note - ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, yes, that's how we do this..................

Here are the other songs I mentioned if you want to listen to them:    (~Meggy)

If you haven't seen this music video and you're concerned that

it's sleazy or something, don't worry - he's singing about the
woman being with child.