New

I have been having a rough week. . . .  I don't know if it's depression or just moodiness - I don't know if there's a difference.  But I have not been able to cope with even the littlest things.  And last night I kept waking up for no apparent reason, which makes me think maybe it is depression, or at least stress.  But maybe someone was setting off fireworks nearby reeeeeally slowly, trying to interrupt my sleep without me noticing.

But I know I'm overtired, so I figure, you know what, it doesn't really matter what's going on with me.  There are plenty of reasons.  I just have to try to get better.  I tried listening to upbeat, happy music - do you know how hard it is to find truly happy music?  Even a lot of the music that sounds happy has a depressing message.  But it sort of helped.  This morning, as I got ready for the day, I listened to music again, but I tried to listen to it quietly so as to not disturb my sleeping roommates.

Knowing that there are certain mental patterns that lead me into depression, I've also resolved on avoiding those patterns.  It's hard.  But if I start putting myself down, I'll tear it to shreds - as though I had put it on a sticky note and pinned it to my mental reminder board, I'll rip it off and put it through the shredder.  If nothing else, the metaphor is helping.  And since my depressive moods are often caused or worsened by my reluctance to verbally care about anything, if I start to feel that way, I'll just straight up tell my boyfriend that I'm too tired to think.  And if, which I often do, I feel as though no one cares and no one will listen to me, I'll just say, "Hey, I need you to listen."  Now, the hardest part will be actually talking at that point.  Because the fact that I don't have the mental energy to form feelings into sentences is kind of a setback.

What do you do when you're in a funk?

Alright, if you got through that pity party, I now have an announcement.

I don't know that too many people are actually reading my blog anymore - so be it.  I'll do my research and find new blogs to read (which I need to do anyway) and I'll reach out to new bloggers.  But I'm afraid I need to leave Google's blogging behind.  Google just doesn't care about its bloggers, and that's okay.  Apparently that's not their strong suit, but I need something more.  I need to be able to do more.  Heck, I could probably do more on my own in Dreamweaver and then upload it to a server somewhere - but I don't really want to.  I want a platform that has the capacity to do what I need it to do.

Weebly.com is still fairly young, as far as I can tell, and it's not perfect, but it has so much more capacity than Blogger and, I think, Wordpress - although Wordpress is enough for the blog I keep up for my family.  But if I'm going with a more professional, modern, up-to-date and relevant look, I gotta leave both behind for this blog.  Weebly can't do everything I want, but it comes pretty close.  The worst part is the fact that I can't upload this blog to that one, which is a major problem.  About 500 hundred posts and over 4 years later, I don't want to leave all this behind and start fresh.  I've spent a lot of time getting those views and creating this content.  So I'm going to be manually transferring posts over - one. by. one. by. one. by. . . you get the point.  My priority is to move Movie Reviews over there to match up with all of the links I already have posted on the "Movie Reviews" page.

So my plan is to move over to http://magicinkanddreams.weebly.com, and I hope those of you, stragglers, will come with me as I build a new home, start a new life, begin with new hope.

. . .Alright, I won't be dramatic about this.  The website is still in designing phases, and I'm not moving just yet, but that really is the link and it is published, so feel free to go check it out and tell me what you think.

(Also, current comments won't be over there. . . . sad face.)

~Meggy