Confidence Quotes

...And why I hate them.

"In order to be irreplaceable, one must always be different."  But each of us is different.

Now, if I met a guy and I found myself trying to be like him to get his attention – or the same with a girl – then this quote might be useful.  But most of the time, we are different just the way we are.  But it's  our similarities, not our differences, which bring us together.

I understand the point of this quote – it's to say that you shouldn't be ashamed to be different.  But I think the only people who care about this quote are taking it for more than that.  I've seen far too many people using quotes like this to back up behavior that needs to be reigned in.  We've all seen it – in real life and in movies or television.  It's ridiculous.  They're super opinionated, loud, obnoxious, and too strong-minded.  These people were born this way, anyway, but quotes about being different make people forget that there is such a thing as rudeness, such a thing as relating to other people.

"If you've never lost your mind then you've never followed your heart."  So my heart is trying to send me to a lunatic asylum?

The times that I have lost my mind have not been pleasant.  Yeah, I guess you could say I was following my heart….  If that's the way you want to put it, then I'm not totally sure that following your heart is a good thing.

This quote could mean something else by "lost your mind," I suppose, but I'm not sure what.  If it is trying to tell me that I will feel insanely happy and light as a feather, then I will believe that when I get there.  But I hardly think that feeling is guaranteed to come with following my heart.  I might do something dumb, but again, this quote is based on the presumed premise that following your heart is the epitome of great things!  And so far, the evidence is pointing to the opposite.

"I like flaws and am most comfortable around those who have them.  I, myself, and made up entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions."  This one just blows my mind.

You're most comfortable around people who have flaws?  …Do you have a limit?  Like, if you're with people who don't give a darn about you or anything else, doesn't that bother you?  Are you comfortable with murderers and thieves and whatnot?  Are you comfortable with people who swear and disrespect people?

Okay, anyone who stand behind this quote probably doesn't mean it to that extent.  But this quote seems to show to me only the most refined pride.  "I've made mistakes, but I'm proud of them because I meant well.  Who cares that I've hurt people, sold myself short, or reaped consequences?  I meant well. And no one is perfect."  No, no one is perfect, but I'm going to keep trying to be, if you don't mind; and I'm sorry for my mistakes.  If I meant well, that only shows a lack of wisdom on my part….

I understand the good intentions behind motivational quotes, but after a point, they work against their own end.  If all you ever hear is that you are fine the way you are, that you should be as different from everyone else as you can, that following your heart is the most important thing in the whole world – you start to fall short even of what you yourself want for yourself.  You stop striving for more; stop striving for a better you, for unity with creation, for wisdom and righteousness.

I've mentioned before that affirmation drives me crazy because it feels extravagant and fake.  It's kind of the same thing going on here.  These are great ideas to ponder over, but I cringe whenever I see people gluing their lives to them.  When people are married to quotes that glorify these shallow ideas, I want to cry.  These people are on a road to self-destruction, and I'm also finding them very hard to get along with.  Some people get a long way on these things, I realize, but I can't help but wonder what kind of existence that is.

Not to mention that psychology says that it rarely helps to overly build up the ego.  It often has the opposite effect ultimately.

I'm all for bettering self-images and improving society's message, but something subtler and more penetrating and better balanced would be so much better.

~Meggy