Growing, Growing, Growing, Gone

HABEMUS PAPEM!  HABEMUS PAPEM!  HABEMUS PAPEM!

I was not expecting it to happen so soon!  I was shopping and suddenly I got a text from Pope Alarm that we had a new pope!  How wonderful!  I hope that, whether you're Catholic or not, you will pray for his holiness and let it rest; whatever dirt that can be found on him is irrelevant – he's the infallible father of Christ's Church – he does not need to be perfect.  Christ will work through him.  The holier he is, the greater the work that can be done – but he doesn't have to have a saintly past in order to lead and guide God's holy Church.

I almost didn't post anything about the Pope – it's pretty much all been said already and I didn't want to sound like a broken record.  But I felt that it was almost my duty to celebrate.

Anyway, I think that my writing on my blog has changed a great deal since I started it, what, almost two years ago now?  Has it really only been that long?  Anyway, if you go back and read those early posts, you may notice quite a difference content and even style.  My audience hasn't changed – namely other people my age with my interests – but perhaps my age range has.  You see, two years ago, I was sixteen.  Eighteen is a whole lot different than sixteen – at least it has been for me on many levels.

For a while, I thought, "This is just a phase," or, "I should try to write some fun posts like I used to," but you see, I just can't.  I'm not who I once was.

Sometimes, I might write an entry or two that is complete nonsense and silliness – but such things are beyond my everyday capacity now.

I enjoy the way I write now.  It tends to be prettier.  It tends to be more deliberate and calculated.  It tends to drive home what I want to say with an economy of words and precise imagery that surprises even myself.  Sometimes, after reading over what I've written, I better understand what I am trying to say because I've taken the time to explain it with metaphor and analogy and personification – relating my topic to things that are, for the most part, universally understood.

In the past, I've mourned over someone changing in a way that I no longer enjoy what they do.  It happens all the time – I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.  But it's not necessarily because they run out of ideas and have been grasping at straws, or because they are not really interested in what they do anymore, or because they've gotten old.  Perhaps the last reason is the closest to the truth, though.  They have matured and they think and act differently – we hope.

So you see, I can no longer write like a child because I am not a child.  Well, yes I am, so it'll come out now and then.  But don't you see?  I'm in college now.  I'm eighteen now.  I have to make my own decisions and get myself through the day.  I don't know why this makes such a difference, but it does.

So my writing will be different.  A lot of the blogs I read are still where I was at two years ago – and I'm not saying y'all are immature.  I still enjoy reading those blogs and reading the child-like interest in little things that I have such a hard time writing about.  And some of these people may be in college, may be older than me!  Maturity doesn't necessitate the loss of these qualities – but it seems to have with me.

I'm not dull – I just can't write like that anymore.

If you haven't noticed a difference over the past few months or so, then good!  That means I'm over thinking this.  As usual.

But it made for a good post, didn't it!

~Meggy