I am extremely fond of him

Let's for the moment propose that time isn't necessarily exactly linear.  What is in the future could come back and touch the past; what's in the present could be in the future; what's in the past could have not happened yet.  You may already be married.  Your husband (or wife) might have married you by now.  You may not know it, but you might already be well spoken for.

Something to think about.

There are lots of angles from which to analyze time, to see if this is possible, probable, or even practical.  But what I'm trying to point out right now is that you may be unfaithful and not even realize it.  What do you think?  And if so, is it possible to live faithfully?

I say it is.  Some girls set out to find boys to marry.  (And here, because I am a girl, I'm writing it from the girl's point of view.)  Some girls will meet a guy who treats them right and so they start dating.  But what happens if you're not in the cards?  Or the stars or in God's will, however you want to phrase it.  Then what?  Heartache and awkward moments.

Now me, personally, I'm not setting out to find a boyfriend.  I have met a dozen really nice guys – some that feel like men to me and some that feel like little brothers (what can I say?  I'm the eldest in my family).  I suppose, in time, I may even be able to distinguish among the men those that are like older brothers – I've always wanted an older brother.  But howsoever it turns out for these guys, I don't want to just start dating them.  I want to get to know them, become really good friends, become extremely fond of them, love them, and then start looking for signs from God.

Not all feelings of love should turn into a dating relationship.  There are people in my life that I would do anything for (I pray I would), and there are people that I love to be with, and there are people that are in both categories.  But just because someone fits into one of the categories doesn't mean I have to be "in love" with them.  For example, there's a three-year-old back home that I just love to death.  But he's three.  I can't be "in love" with him.  So... what?  As soon as they go through puberty, all bets are off?  Moreover, I am extremely fond of my little sister, but I'm not going to date her.  Neither am I going to date my brother, although I love him beyond measure.  (I know, bad examples.)

So you see?  A deep, emotional feeling doesn't have to mean a romantic relationship.  Furthermore, I don't dare start such a relationship unless I'm sure we have a good chance at a lifetime together.  What happens if we aren't meant to be?  Then we have to break up, and that's worse than going back to square one.  It's not even like in Life (the board game), when you can chose either to go to college or to get a job straight away.  Either way, although they split up, two people will end up going the same way.  It's more like choosing two different board games entirely.  But that's a really bad metaphor.  The point is our relationship would never be the same again.  It would be neither the easy, fun relationship of two people who like each other, nor the romantic relationship where two people need each other.  It would be an awkward "we thought we needed each other, we started bonding on a very deep level, but now we can't be there anymore" kind of relationship.

pic from....

Well, anyway, I've been rambling on much longer than I intended to.  I really only wanted to point out the first bit, as something that I've been thinking about.  I think it's possible to live faithfully because, long story short, God wants us to.  So whether time works strictly linearly or not (which is another whole post I'll save for later), it must be possible to be faithful to your partner in advance.  So I figure, if I don't look at each boy and categorize him as "boyfriend material, not boyfriend material," I'll end up just being faithful to whomever God brings along for me.  This is one of those things that contemplation and fasting must have been made for.

Some might think that this approach isn't proactive enough, that you couldn't possibly find your mate this way.  I don't know.  Honestly, I'm only suggesting all this is true, but I deduced it from life experiences.  It seems to be working well enough for its purposes.  If a guy is good enough to date, he's good enough to be a friend for life, so don't date him unless you're sure.

~Meggy