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Merry Christmas, y'all.  ....I guess I kind of want to apologize for my lack of enthusiasm – I was busy beforehand, and now I'm just tired.  Soooooooooo tired.  And sick.  Finally, after all the coughing going on around here, I've begun to feel miserable.  Oh, my spirits are high – that's one good thing.  And I just want to do something, but I'm too tired and weary.  All my body wants to do is eat or sleep, but I don't actually want to do either.  –In that complicated, restlessness way sickness has.

On another topic:
In a previous post, I mentioned that I am on Facebook now.  I like it a lot – it's handy for the little things you want to share with your friends.  But it's dangerous.  It can be addicting, and it can be disappointing.  I put things on Facebook because I'm bored and/or lonely.  But checking Facebook does not satisfy my need for attention.  It's not really interaction – it's like a bulletin board at the office.  It's much better to talk to your coworkers than to leave them bulletins.  I've come to really miss everybody I used to see every day – now they occasionally put something on Facebook and so I know that they're still alive and I smile when I read what they share.  But something is really missing in online interaction.

"Addiction to Likes" is not a theory.  Or a myth, or an exaggeration.  ....But that's all I'm saying on that matter. ;)

But I know that Facebook really helps to keep some people in touch – certain relatives have mentioned to me that they are grateful for my online presence because it makes them feel like they're still part of my life and I'm a part of theirs, while physically I'm miles away.

~Meggy

The Grand Hall

It was nearing 1 o’clock in the morning and the sliver of moon provided minimal light to their journey.  Many of the street lamps were not lit.  They scampered from shadow to shadow, never walking directly into the light cast by the glowing street lamps or lighted windows.  Erin’s eyes investigated every sound, checking over her shoulder.  Something exploded two streets over to the east, and just around the corner, a mob was stirring up trouble; but Aidan Roby led her round about in a very zig-zagging pattern.  They saw no one except a beggar hunched over, his hands covered in a frightening skin condition.  Aidan Roby tossed him a crust of bread and they hurried onward.

Their path grew darker as they neared the palace.  The street before the gates was completely black with the nighttime.  Aidan Roby took her by the arm and roughly drew her into the thick of the darkness.  Erin held her free arm before her and took careful steps on the uneven cobblestone.  When he let her go, he cautioned, “Don’t move – just a moment.”  Then he struck flint and a lantern fizzed into life.

The light revealed wrought-iron gates fifteen-feet tall, the design too closed to let even cats through.  Aidan Roby pushed it open and stood back to usher her ahead of him.

They scurried across an open space, unhindered, and Erin was prevented from crashing into the door only by Aidan Roby’s hand on her arm.  He took a key from a chain around his neck and clicked it through the lock.  The magnificent wooden doors swung open wide, unbarring the way to a great hall – large, wonderful, and mysterious.

Their shoes made displeasing noises on the floor, which echoed all through the cavernous hall.    The ceiling high above was plastered with paintings of cherubim floating among the clouds, revealed by large flickering chandeliers, which cast an eerie glow on the stone walls and mirrors.  Various surfaces shined and shimmered; and great columns trapped the luminescence within their boundaries, ruling over the hall with their grand design and splendor.

“I have never set foot here before,” Erin said, “and my father’s descriptions could never have prepared me for this.  What is this place?”

“It is the grand hall,” said Aidan Roby.  His voice, like hers, was hushed; but still it carried like a giant or a mighty king.  “This is where the king’s finest guard was used to stand, decked out in the epitome of flamboyance to impress visitors.  Often great balls were held in this same hall.”

“It’s magnificent,” she breathed.

~Meggy

Hobbit Hole

Okay, as long as everybody is writing about "The Hobbit," I feel I might as well get my share.  A lot of fans have a lot to say about the parallels to the books – I'm not even gonna go there.  I, long ago, accepted that movies can be different from the books and still be unbelievably good.  Having not read "The Hobbit" in quite a long time, I can't remember its perfections.  So I went into that movie with an open mind as far as the plot and lines were concerned.  And I thought it was amazing.

I was disappointed that the eagles weren't nearly as impressive as in ROTK, and some of the falls were a little... *ahem*... "What are you trying to pull?"  But that hardly put a dent in its awesomeness.  Gollum was killmenow awesome; Galadriel wasn't nearly as creepy – I fell in love with her finally; Elrond was endearing; Bilbo was perfect; the dwarves were great.  The music – THE MUSIC!!!

Depending on who you ask, the movie changed the plot from the book to varying degrees – but you have to admit that sometimes things have to be altered to fit the big screen.  No matter what they did, if you're a fan, you're gonna love certain aspects of the books way more than how its done in the movies. But it just doesn't work that way.  Narration techniques differ for the two mediums.  But I value the disappointment some fans have that certain lines or character personalities were not left unchanged.

And some fans were a little, shall we say, disturbed, by what was going on between Galadriel and Gandalf? I must say, it quite escaped my notice except as a very pleasing scene.  I loved their relationship – I don't think they necessarily had to be "flirting," or whatever it is y'all were thinking – just playing, as old friends do.  Now that you've got me thinking about it, all I can say is I expect it won't go any further than that.

Other than that, I'm going to try to restrain myself from saying anything "controversial."  Anyone reading this right now has probably already seen the movie and so has his own opinion.  And assuming that is so, he doesn't want to read something that is contrary to his own opinion – he wants something that affirms his opinion of it as great, fair to middling, or meh-okay.

All I'll say to close is I might just declare certain people as my friends so I can go see it again with someone.  <3

And perhaps I'll write a real review some day....

~Meggy

I'm a GREAT!

Let me just say, first, that it is an honor to get this award – no, really, it is.  I couldn't help but wonder, lately, if I'm wasting my time; it's a common worry of mine.  But apparently not!  That's very reassuring.  So thank you, Rose M., for thinking of me.  "One of the Greats!"  Wow.  I'm scared now – how can I live up to this?

Well, anyway, here are the rules (as per Rose):

Rules...

1. Copy & paste the award to your blog.
2. Answer the questions given below (everyone answers the same questions every time).
3. Award 1-5 bloggers who are some of your favorites, give a quick description of why you chose them, and let them know you tagged them!
4. Edit: No tagging back!  :P

And the questions are:

Questions...

What are some of your tips for the background of blogs?  Layout, colors, etc.?

I would sum up my experience with blog design by just saying "keep trying."  Look at my blog, and if you like the design, well, good – then my advice is worth taking.  If it's just plain ugly today, check back in a month: it'll have probably changed by then.  Just don't be afraid to try something that appeals to you.  When I'm searching for something new, I'm usually drawn by something dark and mysterious and creative – sadly, that usually creates an unwelcoming blog (not the creative bit).  Experiment until you find out what works.

What are your favorite blog topics to write about?  Book reviews, baking, everyday life, sewing, etc.?

I really like to write about everyday life, when everyday life strikes me in such a way as is able to be written.  Often times, a blog post turns out to be nothing but a vent for something I am feeling but am afraid to share.  I also like to write reviews because it's fun telling the world my opinion like it's fact – and dressing it up with pictures.

What are some of your favorite blog topics to read?

I love to read blog topics about life – just random stuff all jumbled together, usually with a point (even if said point is hard to point at with a pin).  However, if the post is too rambly and does not relate to my life whatsoever, I get bored fast.  And although the idea of putting down the minute details of the "while I'm typing this" (my outfit, the sounds I hear, the weather, my thoughts, what I'm reading, etc.) – although writing all that sounds fun and intrigues me, I'm frequently... bored out of my skull actually reading what someone else put down about all that stuff.  Maybe if the paragraphs were shorter???  Other people seem to like them....  :/

What is your biggest blogging tip for newbies?

Unless you go viral, you're safe.  Chances are, you can delete what you wrote a year ago and never see it again.  But don't assume that anyone is going to be hopping to read whatever the heck you have to say.  When they do start bouncing, that's when you have to get worried.  Just be careful what you put out there, because if you use your blog to be immature or if you treat it like twitter with more symbol space, you're not going to be very popular.  There's lots of stuff out there – turn them off and they're gone.  And whatever you do, don't make your readers jump through hoops.

Why did you start blogging?

I started blogging because I was alone in the world.  I didn't make friends very well because I'm under-presumptuous.  I'm also a writer – words are my bread and butter.  So a lonely writer has to write!  And when you get bored of keeping everything to yourself, you go WWW, as we all know (and can see every day with the popularity of YouTube).



As for awarding it, I have some ideas:

• I'm sure this will be very unoriginal, but I'm going to award Rose M. at The Golden Road.  I do love your blog, and I love your "artsy-ness" – we seem to share artistic taste.  So, if I haven't already, I'd also like to bestow upon you: 

Go here for the rules if you wish, or just take it and run.  ;)

• Elestyn at Soaring High: Although you haven't been too active lately, I remember I always used to enjoy your blog.  You like beautiful music, pictures, and movies – I loved just looking at your blog – and the design is so simple but so lovely.

• Rosamund at Shoes of Paper, Stockings of Buttermilk: You seem to put a lot of thought into your posts.  I really liked your old title, but your current one is so cute.

Okay, that's all I've got.  I didn't want to award anyone who has already been awarded and I didn't want to give it away without serious thought (thank you, Rose, for allowing 1 to 5 instead of a finite number).  Have fun, everyone!

~Meggy

Easy Marinara Sauce

– 1/4 cup olive oil
– 1 1/2 teaspoons red pepper flakes
– 1/2 teaspoon salt
– 3 garlic cloves, chopped

Saute together.  (Be careful not to burn the pepper flakes – have the garlic ready.)

Add one 28once can of crushed tomatoes.  Stir in until bubbling.  Done!

I don't remember exactly how much this makes, but I know it feeds a family of six and then some!

(For meat lovers, mix in some pre-made sausage.)

Add salt and pepper to your liking – but I warn you, taste first!

~Meggy

"I Was There When It Was Written"

We have an incredible God.  He created everything we see around us and even everything around us we cannot see.  He made us, He made our personalities, He made the laws by which the world operates by, and keeps it going.  When I pray, I sometimes like to pledge my loyalty by putting my hand over my heart, and I just feel my heart beat as it pumps life throughout me.  Maybe because I'm small, it gives me a very real sense of vulnerability.  I read, once, that it is God's constant thinking of us that keeps us existing.  If ever He forgot about us – if ever He could – we would cease to exist entirely.  In a very real sense, God is always thinking of us.  He singlehandedly keeps the entire universe in actuality.

He created the laws of science, the laws of mathematics, the laws of aesthetics, and the laws of euphonies.  He made all things physical and intangible.  He has described emotions in the language we have never spoken, and we have personalities because that is how He loved us, thought of us, created us.  He placed us exactly where He needed us to be.  He has always known when, how, why we would come into being.  He has always known what, when, why we would fail.  He has always known what would be our saving grace.  He has always known when we would struggle, and He arranged those struggles to coincide with events that would help us.  He arranged those events to coincide with our struggles.  They have always been, because He is all-knowing, never planning.  When you pray to God for an answer, all the time, He knows what is about to happen to give you peace of mind.  He knew long ago what you would cry for and He arranged a gift to make you smile again.

That is why Christmas is such a mystery.  Obviously, God has absolute control over EVERYTHING.  He can do whatever He likes.  So why would He come in the form of a man in order to save us?  He knew before the beginning of time that Adam and Eve would turn away from Him, and that all their descendants would do likewise.  But He created each one anyway.  He could have prevented Adam and Eve from turning away from Him, but He didn't.  He could have incinerated the snake; He could have disolved the tree; heck, He could have used ultimate mind control to manipulate Eve's thoughts.  He could do that each time we have spite toward Him or His creation.  He could control us like puppets.

But instead, He became man.  He weaved Himself into the flesh of His own creation – becoming His own creation.  He suffered the trials of everyday life; He suffered rejection; He suffered mean thoughts and evil actions; He suffered more pain than most come anywhere close to – and He didn't have to.  But He loves us so much that He wanted us to make our own decision; He wanted our love for Him to be true; He wanted to be among us and share our trials, pain, and joys.

When He said to His followers, "You must eat my flesh and drink my blood," everyone left Him.  Paint the picture – God stood on earth, ready to die needlessly to save our souls, and He watched as everyone rejected Him.  And He let them.  He just let them.  He could have changed their minds for them without lifting a finger; but he didn't do that.  And who among us could do the same?  I know I wouldn't.  If I had that power, I know I would use it.

That's why Christmas is so exciting and miraculous.  "God-made-man" is mystery enough, but why God would trouble Himself on our level is beyond any of us – it's a love this earth may never comprehend again.

~Meggy

An Informal Introspection

Being alone.

It's... it's just not good for you.  Sure, you can do it, but it's just not good for you.  You develop a view of life where you just take yourself too seriously.  Even when you're laughing at yourself, you just take yourself too seriously.  You are happiness.  You are joy, peace, love.  You are virtue; you are sin.  You are depression; you are hard work; you are rest.  You cease to be yourself; you become what you do.  You're alone – people no longer hurt you, but you drag yourself down.  You hate yourself when you are evil; you're on top of the world when you are goodness.  Nothing anyone can say to you can hurt you because it actually makes no difference what they think – you are what you do.

You can live your whole life single; just don't be alone.  People will hurt you – I guarantee that everyone you meet will hurt you if you take little things to heart.  But it is worth it.  Because you doubt yourself; you question life; you want to sit and just cry.  But you doubt yourself – that's very important.  Not just because it forces you to put yourself in God's hands – you can be a hermit and do that.  It's because when you live your life alone, you don't doubt yourself – you only change yourself.  You don't like something about yourself – you you change it and become someone else – because that something was you, until you changed to something else.  When you have friends, you realize that your quirks are valuable – maybe you don't have to rearrange your whole existence in order change one thing that you don't like.

There's nothing wrong with being independent.  There's nothing wrong with loving a secluded life.  There's nothing wrong with being afraid of people – you darn right should be.  They will prove to you things you don't want to admit.  For one thing, you have value outside of what you do.  For another, that trait that you've struggled with all your life because it's just so deeply ingrained in your being?  There are people who are more than happy to accept and understand you.  What's more, you'll fall hopelessly in love, and you'll find yourself questioning everything you do, hoping that it's the right thing to avoid fading into the sea of faces.  And you'll do things that you would have been too proud and too shy to have done before, but it'll work.  And you'll cry yourself to sleep in agony and bliss.

At the same time.

And what's more, you'll fall in love with yourself.  You'll kick yourself until you're black and blue, but you'll love yourself to death.  And you'll love other people to death like you've never loved before.  –If you just be yourself.  Or rather, if you let yourself shine through you – because it's yourself that's been the trouble all these years.  Just don't be alone.  Or you'll cover yourself up.  You'll wither and die underneath the facade of what you do.

So be embarrassed.  So hate yourself.  So bury your head under your pillow and wish the day never happened.  Fidget with regret at a lost opportunity.  It's those moments that make up living; it's the lack of those moments that make up existing.

With tremendous love,

 Self

don't have time to name this......

– "I have a feeling we're going to be friends." – "I think you're going to be my best friend." –

Believe it or not, it hurts when people say this to me, because half the time they don't really mean it.  Well, that is, they probably mean it at the time, but then they sort of just exclude me from their lives – not intentionally, but I never get to know them.  What I'm about to say is going to sound like boasting, but I think they say we'll be friends because I'm good at listening and I'm quiet, a good listener; I've got my feet on the ground (for the most part :P ) and I have a wide range of interests – so I can share opinions with a lot of people.  But I'm not talkative, and I stand in one place too long.  The people I most want to get to know are dancing all around me but, like when you're in a hurry and you rush right by something without even noticing it, they dance and move on without seeing me.

As a result, I spend a lot of my time praying.  I can't get to know them and I can't listen to their problems, but I can pray for them; and in that way, I feel like I'm close to them – even though they never see me, even though they never know me.  I go on hoping that someday they'll return the favor, after this world has gone, and we will rejoice in each others company.

To clarify, I hope that I can be friends with everyone, but sometimes I'm just too standoffish for them, or, in my anxiety to be their friend, I say the wrong thing and it puts them off.  Whatever the reason, I'm a friend to them in love.  <3

****

On a completely different note, college has left its impression on me.  What with that and Christmas, this blog is going to undergo some changes – and yes, I know I just changed the background a few weeks ago.  But I'm NOT HAPPY.  Just darn unhappy with it all.  Already the banner has changed, and soon the whole blog will get a makeover, but it's nearing finals, so please pray for me because I just know I'm going to want to work on this instead of studying!!!

Also pray for a few of my friends – who I don't want to name for their sake – who seem to be stressed as finals draw near.  Also pray for me, if you've got an extra moment to spare.  My mind is calm (though sleepy), but my body is definitely showing signs of stress.  A friend of mine asked me, very nicely, if I've suffered from anorexia in the past, bless her heart.  No, I haven't, but probably only by the grace of God.  Under stress, I completely lose my appetite, and it's been pretty obvious lately.  So please pray for college students over the next couple of weeks!

~Meggy

Wild and Beautiful

The crush.  It's wild and it's beautiful.  It's hard and it's painful.  It's a stepping stone from fondness to madness.  It's common for some; for others, infrequent and long.  Which is worse?  The latter is deeper, more disruptive when uprooted; the former takes regular beatings, regular wear and tear.

The crush.  It's wild and it's beautiful.  It's crazy.

The wise would choose a lasting relationship – even if it means suffering in silence – even if it means hushing a beautiful secret.  It's a secret that can destroy the bearer.  It's a secret that can drive her mad.  It's a secret that can teach her the meaning of sacrifice.

The crush – the fulcrum of authentic love.

~Meggy

Holy Mary, our Mother and Queen, pray for us.