– "I have a feeling we're going to be friends." – "I think you're going to be my best friend." –
Believe it or not, it hurts when people say this to me, because half the time they don't really mean it. Well, that is, they probably mean it at the time, but then they sort of just exclude me from their lives – not intentionally, but I never get to know them. What I'm about to say is going to sound like boasting, but I think they say we'll be friends because I'm good at listening and I'm quiet, a good listener; I've got my feet on the ground (for the most part :P ) and I have a wide range of interests – so I can share opinions with a lot of people. But I'm not talkative, and I stand in one place too long. The people I most want to get to know are dancing all around me but, like when you're in a hurry and you rush right by something without even noticing it, they dance and move on without seeing me.
As a result, I spend a lot of my time praying. I can't get to know them and I can't listen to their problems, but I can pray for them; and in that way, I feel like I'm close to them – even though they never see me, even though they never know me. I go on hoping that someday they'll return the favor, after this world has gone, and we will rejoice in each others company.
To clarify, I hope that I can be friends with everyone, but sometimes I'm just too standoffish for them, or, in my anxiety to be their friend, I say the wrong thing and it puts them off. Whatever the reason, I'm a friend to them in love. <3
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On a completely different note, college has left its impression on me. What with that and Christmas, this blog is going to undergo some changes – and yes, I know I just changed the background a few weeks ago. But I'm NOT HAPPY. Just darn unhappy with it all. Already the banner has changed, and soon the whole blog will get a makeover, but it's nearing finals, so please pray for me because I just know I'm going to want to work on this instead of studying!!!
Also pray for a few of my friends – who I don't want to name for their sake – who seem to be stressed as finals draw near. Also pray for me, if you've got an extra moment to spare. My mind is calm (though sleepy), but my body is definitely showing signs of stress. A friend of mine asked me, very nicely, if I've suffered from anorexia in the past, bless her heart. No, I haven't, but probably only by the grace of God. Under stress, I completely lose my appetite, and it's been pretty obvious lately. So please pray for college students over the next couple of weeks!
~Meggy
Hmmm...Ooh! I see that you are a Tennant fan. I as well!
ReplyDeleteAnyways, don't feel bad because you aren't the flitting around type. Two..no...three...four? Of my bestest friends ever are the solid, quiet, dependable type. Now that I think about it, it's rather strange that they put up with all my gadding about, because I know I probably wouldn't put up with me. Wow...rabbit trail...
But it just goes to show that opposites attract. Every spastic persona (like me) needs a friend who will sit and listen, and, most importantly *who will teach them how to slow down and listen.*
I am not the best listener, but I make an effort, especially around my best friends, because I know how good it feels to be listened to. :)
Hope that made sense!
It does make sense, and thanks! My only concern is that with really social and "everywhere" people, you can get to know them without really getting to know them. So then you feel like you're in with them but then they essentially ignore you – not intentionally – and people like me are left utterly confused. And I REALLY want to know about their problems and their inmost thoughts. But I love them anyway, so who cares! :D
DeleteThe question is, how can anyone NOT be a Tennant fan! lol...oh! And I also see you're a fan of the movie Megamind! I LOVE that movie! :D Anyway, I wanted to say...or write....or type, that I can really relate to this. I'm more of the quiet type. I feel that people often don't notice me, and at times they even seem to forget I exist at all. This makes me feel left out of the community, which I don't like at all. Underneath my shyness, I'm actually quite a people person (sorry, that sounded a bit boastful...a bit? ;) ). Because I'm shy and quiet around other people, I may appear as you said, standoffish. I wouldn't mind being friends with the outgoing people I know, but they don't seem to find me to be important enough to be their friend. This makes them appear pretty shallow in my eyes, so I'm not even sure I would want to be their friend anyway. As a result, I usually become friends with others who are shy like me. I love my friends, but sometimes I wish I could be friends with outgoing people that I like as well. Oh, and also, I agree with you that opposites attract. I frequently find that to be true.
ReplyDeleteI don't like when I hear "I have a feeling we're going to be friends" or "I think you're going to be my best friend". That always comes off as very fake to me. Oh and by the way, is your profile picture a picture of Arwen? I love Arwen! :) Arwen has always been my favorite character from The Lord of the Rings.
Firstly, yes, it's Arwen. Her loyalty and struggles really impress me (and I can kinda relate to them... in a complicated way). Until recently, I had an Evenstar necklace – and then I lost it. Yeah. Pretty sure it's gone for good, too. Really disappointed. Can't figure out why I had to lose it but.... Whatever, it all works out. And unfortunately, I can't bring myself to share my sister's hope that Aragorn took it....
DeleteAnyway, I know exactly what you're saying. Outgoing people like that bring out some of the best in me – especially in moments when they appear to really care about me PERSONALLY. But then they essentially ignore me. Someone I know who is like this shared his concern with me that he offends people like me – but he doesn't mean to, he just knows so many people. But that's the thing – I want to KNOW him and people like him. Plus, they kinda scare me, because I'm concerned – since people skills come so naturally to them – that they're just toying with me :(
It's funny though, because I am LISTENING to what they have to say; and when I remember it later, it almost always surprises and impresses them. Makes it all worth it. There are few social practices I do well; but I am very good at listening to and remembering people's problems. :)
Thanks for weighing in – introverts of the world unite! :P sorry, that was weird :)