Dressing Up

Look, it's not about "how much."  That's the wrong way to go about it.  See, one of the main goals of modesty is that what you wear doesn't distract from who you are.  If you walk up to someone and their first thought (man or woman) is, "Whoa, that's a lot of make-up; whoa, she's busty; whoa, look at her hips."  (It's easier for me to write this about a girl because I'm more familiar with the complaints against women; I'll try to address some issues with men later.)  It's fine for someone to think, "Wow, she's got beautiful eyes," but unless someone has been training themselves to think that way, it probably won't be the first thing on their mind when they meet you. 

Realize that everyone makes first impressions long before anyone's said anything.  When you meet someone, you see their appearance and you make a mental connection in your mind.  If they're sloppy, if they're stylish, if they're preppy, if they're too lightly or too heavily clad – you notice, and it tells you something about them, correctly or no.  So if, ladies, we dress in such a way that draws a lot of attention to our bust or hips, that factors into the "pre-first impression."  Have you ever looked at a picture of someone and looked straight at the person's chest, legs, or hair instead of their face?  Or even something in the background?  Why did you look at those areas instead of their face?  Probably because what you looked at was the most prominent object in the photo – it stood out.  It caught your attention.  So if, ladies, you've got tons of cleavage, people will be thinking about your cleavage, not you, when you meet them.  In the same way, if you're obviously trying to be "modest," that'll be distracting while you're trying to have a conversation.

What does all that mean?  Are we supposed to dress dull and drab in order to keep our clothing from catching someone's attention?  That can't be right.  So. . . what did it mean?

I realize that, as a writer, if you have to explain what you wrote, you've failed.  You should be clear and exact the first time so that you don't become redundant and repetitive as you try to explain yourself.  So, unfortunately, I failed.  The point of my article was to present a "new" and refreshed look on modesty, and so I presented the above point to you as a passing point, not thinking to have to go into too much detail to explain.  However, with that mindset, I ended up only skimming the surface and not satisfying myself with the result.  Thus, the result you read above, plus repetition later on as well.

You shouldn't be conspicuous, but my meaning is that, while expressing yourself and being attractive and allowing yourself to stand out from the rest, you may want to reconsider an outfit that does not fit the venue.  I think one way to further understand what I mean is to pick up a dictionary and read the meaning for modesty.

If you are among a group of people who are dressing like this:

it might not be a good idea to dress like this:

You might want to dress a little less cutesy and flirty because the other suits are more formal and business-like.  Does that make any sense?  Does the difference make sense to you?  You can be an individual and still "match" everyone else.

To prove my point, I'm going to present you with various pictures of business suits for women.  In each picture, the styles of the suits match but the suits themselves vary.  Each picture should be considered separately – as though these people are not all at the same business meeting.

Let's separate this one down the middle, as two pictures.

I'm using this picture so I can mention that there are
situations when you might have a lot of flexibility.

And you can do a lot of things with your hair, too, to stand out from the crowd and still be appropriately attired.

My point in showing you these pictures is not to lay down some guidelines but merely illustrate some examples so that you can understand what I'm trying to say.  I picked business suits because it's easy to compare them (and it's an easy search term for finding pictures).

So, taking everything I've said about modesty – take it, digest it, and move on with your life.  Have fun with life!  Modesty should not be pinning us down – the truth should set us free, yes?  If modesty is making your life miserable, you may have to reexamine why.

~Meggy

P.S. If calling this "modesty" is confusing you, just call it "dressing appropriately," and apply that to my previous post on modesty (which you can find by clicking on the quote).  . . .Although, it is modesty.