Busting Franciscan Myths

"I mean, I'm mostly going to college to find a husband."

Don't come to Franciscan.  According to THIS SITE and one other, the boy/girl ratio is between 40/60 and 30/70.  There are a lot of girls.  A lot of girls, especially compared to so few guys!

I know: "I'm hoping to find a good Catholic husband, so where better than at a great Catholic college?"  Yeah, well, good theory, but Catholicism doesn't come with automatic awesomeness.  It'd be nice if it did, wouldn't it?  You may know a person who is Catholic and seemingly devout but has so many character flaws you wish they were atheist so you could "convert" them.  From my view on this campus, Franciscan seems to be the preferred and chosen college for this type of person.

Smoking and drinking are not foreign to this campus.  You have to know the right people in order to get really stoned, but it's not hard to find them – just listen to the right people talking about, well, the wrong people.  Smokers stand outside every building.  …Not constantly, but you'll see a few on a daily basis if you're paying attention.

Smoking is not inherently evil, so far as I can figure (although I hear tell that cigarettes are really, really bad for you).  But it has been my limited experience that most of the guys standing outside in "smoking rings" on a regular basis – cigarettes, cigars, or pipes – are charter members of the group of guys that smart girls are learning not to dream about.

So smoking is directly related to weak character?  Well, no, I can't prove that.  It could be that the majority of the campus male population is of weak character; in which case, it would naturally follow that the campus male smoker population would be largely dominated by this type….  After all, there are plenty of stay-away-from-hims that don't smoke or drink every Friday night.

But that's just a taste of what you'll find on the Franciscan campus.

City on a hill?  Salt of the earth?  Light of the world?  Certainly, all those things.  The Franciscan Friars are so adorable and so powerful and so life changing/challenging.  The witness of a chapel full of young adults singing to God four Masses a Sunday, three a weekday is breathtaking.  Perpetual Adoration, Students for Life, The Harmonium Project, Red Light Ministry… and whatever else we have going on 'round here – sometimes it's hard to keep track of it all.

At the same time, we've got Households that are known more for their off-campus parties than for their spirituality; we have sexual assault investigations and guys banned from certain all-girl's dorms; we've had students kicked out for drug activity; there are Freshman couples hooking up within the first one or two weeks of school and breaking up because one or the other is "struggling with their spirituality;" we're overflowing with flirt action hidden under the pick-up line: "I want to guard your heart."  (See THIS page for campus crime statistics.)

Finding a man on campus?  The majority of the girls in my acquaintance who will be graduated this year are going out into the world without marriage plans, without an engagement ring, without even a boyfriend.  A lot of relationships that happen are not particularly mature or prepared for marriage.  Yes, there is the occasional sophomore marriage – but believe me, it looks more insane than it does romantic.  A lot of people collapse, after a long day here, among their closest friends, and admit, "This place is like high school all over again."

If you want diversity, you won't find it here.  There are only a few black people; most people are moderately chill Catholics split about equally between the charismatics and… not charismatics; a lot of geeks and nerds, as well as geek and nerd wannabes; hardcore partiers and smokers, rebels, and cool people are the severe minority; and then there are the small populations of blatantly "traditional" Catholics and "full-length-skirt-addicts."  Most people more or less dress the same – the jocks and drama queens being pretty much the only exception – and frisbee is the thing.

Babies are cute; friars and other religious are celebrities; discernment into religious life merits a huge celebration; and a day when it isn't raining is everyone's dream.

Oh – and I should mention the huge homosexual community.

In some respects, it's just like any other campus.

But a good girl with all her ideals intact… is more likely to get hurt here.

See, the bad guys here are hidden because everyone goes to Mass, signs up for an Adoration hour, goes to Theology classes, and has some kind of "lightning bolt of providence" story.  And I'm sure these guys are essentially good people – they're just stupid when it comes to relationships.  So they lure you in with tales of their struggles for holiness – and then they just stop talking to you.  Or worse.  (And then the respective Households get involved….  It can be messy.)

Brother-sister relationships abound.  Which I'm happy about – I'm putting together a whole family over here!  But girls actively seeking their knight-in-shining armor get hurt real fast.

So if you're going to college for your MRS degree, you may want to look elsewhere.  I mean, my philosophy is to not look for an MRS degree.  I think they're earned on a basis of merit, not effort.  More like a scholarship.  I like that – a scholarship to life: 'The MRS Scholarship, funded by Heavenly Father.'

But I digress.

Franciscan University has a lot of problems.  And there are days where the only reason I'm still here….  It's Catholic.  And if you are honestly doing your best to follow God and discern His plan for your life, you can find a very supportive and healthy spiritual community here.  For all its flaws, this school is run on the idea that you can leave this place with a stronger relationship with Christ and a solid foundation to fall back on.  So far, I'm finding that part of the school to be excellent (though it obviously isn't perfect).  And I've got a pretty good head on my shoulders and a lot of grace on my side, thank God.

I've slowly been changing my perspective.  I have to assume that I just might not leave this school on the arm of a man.  With that in mind, I think I can get the most out of and give the most to this school.

But yeah, girls shouldn't come here assuming that their degree won't be terribly important when they graduate – it may be the only thing they have to live on when they leave this place.

~Meggy