Elder Days of Yesteryear – But Not Now

Please forgive me for not updating this blog EVER.  I'm very busy now.  I work for my school newspaper as web editor (The Troubadour), I am a technician's aid in the virtual conference lab, and I'm an eLearning Assistant aid, so when I'm not producing media for other people, I'm studying for my five classes ranging between 200 level and 400 level.

It's a lot, but it's not too difficult to keep up.

Anyway, as I've said before, my new blog has long been up and running and I'm committed to getting something out every two weeks.  If you're not interested in the nice little reflections and daily craziness that I used to share on this blog, you might enjoy Our Hearts Unhindered….  But if you don't really need another Matt Walsh type blog (only not as professional or snarky), then Our Hearts Unhindered may not be for you.  The only way I can recommend it is to say that it comes from me.  And it is my personal thoughts and experiences.  Only one of my friends knows about it because the topics and the non-specific experiences I relate could embarrass my acquaintances –

So if you do read it, please, please, if you want to, comment on the quality and material.  I do a lot of writing and I'm fairly good at it, but nearly all of my writing never comes under scrutiny.  My writing may not improve much unless someone points out that it sounds very dull indeed, or that it doesn't flow logically.  And my beliefs and my understanding of the world will not grow if no one challenges me.  I mean, if you're inclined to do that sort of stuff… please do.

I generally have a "no comment" policy, meaning that I will not reply directly to comments.  This is because it hinders the conversation, I find.  It also is not super professional.  So if you'd like to discuss something with me directly, there is a contact form; but please also leave a comment so others can see and contribute.

But y'all don't want to hear about my blog!

My sister had spinal fusion surgery yesterday because of her scoliosis and so I drove home yesterday afternoon into the night to visit her today.  It's really nice to be back in my own room, and I had forgotten how quiet it gets at night in the country.  People sleep and stuff.

The surgery went as expected and she's recovering well, but she's very tired.  She had to keep rolling over from side to side all night long so she didn't get much sleep, and getting out of bed is, I hear, I bit exhausting.  But I'm going in to see her today and I'm really excited.  She's my baby.

There's this song that I can't decided whether I like or not – so I'm thinking probably not really.  Anyway, a fraternity at some school somewhere made their own video to it and it's actually really impressive (…to me anyway).  So, as if in tribute to the elder days of yesteryear, I'll leave this here:

~Meggy

Did You Know: Same Sex Attraction and Modesty

First off, a new post is coming out today on Our Hearts Unhindered about long-distance relationships.  My boyfriend encouraged me to share our experience, and I hope some people will find encouragement and wisdom.  That is to say that I sure hope wisdom is in there.  Be sure to like the Facebook page for updates.

So I could swear that a couple semesters or more ago, I went to a talk given by a guy who had struggled with same sex attraction for years.  He talked about the difficulty, how we should help those we know with same sex attraction, and a little about the politics of it.  It was an interesting talk and I wish I could remember a more about it.  Especially because he also talked about his healing.  I don't mean spiritual healing; I mean sexual attraction healing, if I may call it that.  He said that counselors in school are not allowed to do anything but encourage students with concerns to pursue their same sex attractions; but he actually sought therapy and with time, he wasn't attracted to men like before (not that it never crosses his mind – habits don't like to die).

When I try to figure out who he was and get some factual information, I can't find him.  Hardly surprising since it is such a delicate topic – I admire him for talking to a bunch of students about it.  But the truth is, it's hard to find anything about counseling for the condition.  My browser is beginning to pick up on what I'm looking for and has put the pieces together, but so far, all the hits are of Catholic or Christian websites, mostly that I've never heard of.  I was very interested to find, however, that the url http://samesexattraction.org/ is about helping those with unwanted attraction recover – how did they manage to snag that one!

I found it particularly sad when I read this article.  I was very impressed by it, but I also honed in on: "Us folks, who have SSA, we struggle with a lot. Among those things are body image, father wounds, bouts of depression, feeling less masculine, and a lot of us aren’t good at sports (which makes it harder for us to bond with other men)."  What I noticed was that many of these complaints are treatable.  A document I found on the EWTN website said this:

A number of therapists have written extensively on the positive results of therapy for same-sex attraction. Tripp chose to ignore the large body of literature on treatment and surveys of therapists. Reviews of treatment for unwanted same-sex attractions show that it is as successful as treatment for similar psychological problems: about 30% experience a freedom from symptoms and another 30% experience improvement.

[I didn't read the whole article.  The part on Therapy is intriguing, however.]

And other sources, again mostly Christian, insist that is is possible for some individuals to find relief.  I don't know if the author of "Why I Chose Love" has sought treatment or help of any kind, but many, many individuals don't know that it is available to them.  This breaks my heart.  We are hearing many more stories about people who struggle with same sex attraction resolving to remain chaste (and ultimately celibate) – and I bet no one has even mentioned this possibility to them.

I am absolutely no expert on homosexuality – I can't even pretend to know a little bit about it.  I learned some in a psychology class once, and then in talks, and from various Catholic literature.  My question is: what do you know about it?  Have you heard about this option?  Do you know anyone with same sex attraction and do you think they could benefit from therapy of any kind (for depression or self-esteem or what have you)?  I would really appreciate some feedback.  I'd like to share "Why I Chose Love" on Our Hearts Unhindered but I prefer to write my own brief two cents to go with it.  If you have personal experience with anything like this, I'd love to hear about it!

Also, I am currently reading an interesting book called A Return to Modesty by Wendy Shalit.  It is really fascinating and I highly recommend it to anyone who would like to explore the practical definition of modesty.  Among many other points, she suggested that we are not just beginning to recognize and admit female desire for physical intimacy.  She had some quotations that seemed to support her point.  But the part that really caught my attention was this: some quotes even suggested that not only do women have a strong desire for physical intimacy, but it may even be stronger than men's!  The difference is that women have an innate sense of the holy, if you will, and are cautious, want their physical intimacy to be special and safe.

So here's my question: how does that strike you?  If you are female, do you think women have at least as strong a sexual drive as men?  Could it be different in some way?  Please feel free to keep your comment anonymous.  I'll share my own thoughts in a post on Our Hearts Unhindered if I can get a sense of how others feel; but know this: I felt relieved by the possibility that women in general have a strong sexual drive.

I won't quote from your comments without your permission, if at all (depends on how fantastically brilliant your comments are, I guess); but I may give an overall summary of my findings and a link back to this post if I find it necessary.

Thanks for anything you can give me,

~Meggy

Summer Designs

This summer, as I've already discussed, I have a lot of plans.  Of course, there's all the garden work, which you can read about by clicking here.  But I have so many other hopes and dreams for this summer.  Looking over the list at Heavenly Aspirations inspired me to put it all down and solidify what I really want to do.  So here I'm working on a list and I can't wait to get home and get started!

1.  Paint my room yellow and decorate it will the bright magenta paint my sister wanted.
2.  Figure out the furniture arrangement for better space management.
3.  Finish the rest of the Jane Austen novels.
4.  Go to the beach at the lake in New Hampshire at least twice a month and memorize the drive so I'll never get lost again.  Find the beach with all the snails.
5.  Find a way to remember the little things of the summer (e.g. collecting little souvenirs or taking candid photos).
6.  Go to the Adoration chapel at least once a week.
7.  Drive the backroads (in my dad's sports car convertible) with country music turned up (extra: with my boyfriend).
8.  Grow the most successful garden yet!
9.  Ride a bike a couple times a week, just enjoying it.
10.  Take my dog for a walk and for hikes and brush her plenty often (extra credit: see if you can keep the brushing up so well that she doesn't really need a bath all summer).
11.  Use an old sheet or something to make a first experiment at a wedding dress pattern.  Decide if I really want to sew my own or not!
12.  Finish knitting the scarf and tuck it away for winter.  Learn to crochet.
13.  Really push myself on the piano and learn at least one hard but beautiful song.  (extra credit: memorize every note!)
14.  Make more progress with voice and guitar.  (extra credit: be ready to play and sing great when my boyfriend visits!  have music ready so we can sing together)
15.  Read a good novel by campfires until it's too dark to see.  Then just sit and listen to nature.  (extra credit: roast potatoes and pop corn kernels in the fire!)
16.  Get really good at Latin so I can help my sister and be ready when I take my final semester in the spring.
17.  Read more philosophy and really get it.
18.  Find a new author (or rediscover an author) to help you get through the fall semester.


~Meggy

If Only Gardening Could Come Sooner

Winter is long over so bloggie needed a makeover.  Makeover completed, I am doubly reminded why I want to learn web design: (1) I want to know better ways to do exactly what I want with my blogs and such; (2) I love being able to design things to perfection.

THE HILLS ARE ALIVE….

Unfortunately, the story I was working on hit a dead end.  I realized it wasn't what I wanted.  So I'm starting over – reworking some of the details, bringing back some of the ones I dropped, and further developing some of the themes.

In a few weeks, I head off to Austria for my semester abroad.  Should be interesting!  I lost my best friend last semester and did not join a household.  What's more, my boyfriend is not coming with me.  Also, all my best relationships right now – which I really can't call close – are with guys.  And the guy I'm on awkward terms with is coming.  So this is about to get interesting.  Not that I don't have girl friends, and not that my relationship with my not-so-best-anymore friend is irredeemable, but we shall see, won't we!

I was really nervous about going to Europe, and I still am.  But I watched Beauty and the Beast the other day.  It reminded me of my childhood and how I used to set myself in a depressive mood wishing I could get away from home and go on an adventure.  And I was like, "Heck, this is my adventure!"  (On a related note, I'm like Bilbo Baggins!  I know, right?)  Not that the rest of my life isn't an adventure – there are a lot of psychological possibilities there….  I'm not really afraid.  I know it will work out.  I've looked the whole thing over and I'm trying hard to be responsible.  I haven't yet found myself in a hole I couldn't get out of and I don't plan on jumping into one anytime soon.

Well… that's all I've got for now.  Although there's a lot more I could say, I suppose.  Like I've been watching a lot of "Psych" lately, and I finally cleaned up and organized my room and that makes me SO HAPPY!  I could also talk about all the stuff I've been checking out of the library, how I've been loving hanging out at the library while my sister is volunteering, and about the contact lenses I'm finally getting.  Ooh and the clothes I've bought!  And the totes adorbs hairstyle I finally settled on!  And how I cut it myself!  But I won't.

It's getting late.  And my roommate/sister is supposed to be asleep so I better get to the task at hand.

~Meggy